Straightened Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a family took their elderly, frail father to a nursing home, with the hopes that he would be well cared for.
The next day, the nurses fed and bathed him and sat him in a chair by the window, overlooking the beautiful flower garden. Everything seemed fine until a short time later when he began to fall over sideways in the chair.
Seeing this, two nurses immediately rushed over to him and straightened him up in the chair. Shortly thereafter, he began to tilt to the other side. Once more, the nurses rushed over and straightened him up. This routine went on for the entire morning.
Later in the day, his family arrived to see how he was adjusting to his new environment. "So Dad, how are things going here? Are they treating you well?" they asked him.
"It is pretty nice," he replied, "but they won't let you fart!"

Two young nuns having just been ordained were on a holiday in New York City and were standing in front of the gorilla cage at the Bronx Zoo.
The gorilla took one look at this beautiful young nun, bent the bars, leapt to the ground and pumped her like crazy. Then he went back into his cage, straightened the bars and resumed thumping on his massive chest.
The young nun got up off the ground, straightened and dusted her clothes, turned to her companion and said,"We shall never talk about this, agreed?" The other young nun consented.
Twenty five years later the two nuns, who had stayed close friend, were out having coffee, when all of the sudden, the second nun asked her friend," I know I agreed never to talk about the event at the zoo but I have one question."
The other nun stared and said,"O.K., one question!"
The other nun stammered, then asked, "Did it hurt?"
"Did it hurt? Oh yes it hurt! He never called... never more...