Stool Jokes / Recent Jokes

A pig walks into a bar and orders a beer. After drinking it, he hops off the bar stool, pees on the floor and leaves.
Another pig comes in, drinks his beer, pees on the floor and leaves.
A third and forth piggy come in and do the same exact thing.
Finally, a fifth piggy comes in to the bar and orders a beer. After finishing his beer, he gets off the bar stool and begins to walk out the door.
Before reaching the door, the bartender yells - "Hey Pig...aren't you going to pee on the floor like the others?"
To which the pig replies - "No you idiot! Everyone knows that the last little piggy goes WEE WEE WEE - all the way home!"

Roy walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs Roy that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink, he could not be served additional liquor at this bar, and could a cab be called for him? Roy is briefly surprised, then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool and staggers out the front door.A few minutes later, Roy stumbles in the SIDE door of the "same" bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over and, still politely but more firmly, refuses service to him due to his inebriation, and again offers to call a cab. He looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.A few minutes later, Roy bursts in through the BACK door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits more...

A drunk walks into a bar and sits down. In front of each stool he sees three darts. He calls the bartender over and says, "Hey! What are these darts here for?"
The bartender says, "Well, you take the darts and throw them at the dartboard behind the bar here, and anybody that gets three bull's-eyes in a row wins a prize."
"Oh," says the drunk, stifling a burp, "all right." He picks up a dart and, weaving from side to side, hurls it, clutching the bar at the last moment just in time to prevent himself from falling off the stool. Amazingly the dart lands firmly in the center of the bull's-eye.
He picks up the second dart, and with one hand on the bar steadying himself as best he can, he throws it. With his follow-through he collapses onto the bar, his head hitting the wood with a resounding thump. Incredibly, though, the dart lodges itself right next to the other one. Another perfect bull's-eye.
The drunk then pushes himself up off more...