Stew Jokes / Recent Jokes

We've got our own recipe for Irish stew: Get some meat, some potatoes and a lot of Guinness Stout. Drink all of the stout. Forget about the stew.

On preparing to return home from an out of town trip, this man got a small puppy as a present for his son. Not having time to get the paper work to take the puppyonboard, the man just hid the pup down the front of hispants and snunk him onboard the airplane.. About 30minutes into the trip a stew noticed the man shakingand quivering.' Are you OK, sir?' asked the stew?' Yes, I'm fine.' said the man. Sometime later the stew noticed the man moaning, and shaking again..' Are you sure you're alright sir?'' Yes.' said the man,' but I have a confession to make. I didn't have time to get the paperwork to bring a puppy onboard, so I hid him down the front of my pants.'' Whats wrong?' asked the stew,' Is he not house broken?'' No, that's not the problem. The problem is he's not weaned yet!'

A young man, in the course of his college life, came to terms with his homosexuality and decided to "come out of the closet." His plan was to tell his mother first; so on his next home visit, he went to the kitchen, where his mother was busying herself stirring stew with a wooden spoon. Rather nervously, he explained to her that he had realized he was gay. Without looking up from her stew, his mother said, "You mean, homosexual?" "Well... yes." Still without looking up: "Does that mean you suck men`s penises?" Caught off guard, the young man eventually managed to stammer an embarrassed affirmative; whereupon his mother turned to him and, brandishing the wooden spoon threateningly under his nose, snapped: "Don`t you EVER complain about my cooking again!"

During the depression years, Fred and his buddy were driving trucks on a Govt. road building project up in the Dakotas.
It was noon and they stopped their trucks at the roadside beside a small stream. There was an Indian encampment there between the road and the stream. One of the braves came up the hill to them and told them they could come down and eat with them out of the kettle.
They took their tin plates and cups and went down to eat with the Indians. Fred said that he knew what to expect so he took the ladle and put the stew on his plate and went over to sit on a log and eat.
But his buddy stayed behind and was stirring and poking into the stew, obviously trying to identify what was in it. Then one brave spoke up in a loud voice, "Ugh! Dig deep. Dog on bottom".

On preparing to return home from an out of town trip, this man got a small puppy as a present for his son.Not having time to get the paper work to take the puppyonboard, the man just hid the pup down the front of hispants and snunk him onboard the airplane.. About 30minutes into the trip a stew noticed the man shakingand quivering. 'Are you OK, sir?' asked the stew? 'Yes, I'm fine.' said the man. Sometime later the stew noticed the man moaning, and shaking again.. 'Are you sure you're alright sir?' 'Yes.' said the man, 'but I have a confession to make. I didn't have time to get the paperwork to bring a puppy onboard, so I hid him down the front of my pants.' 'Whats wrong?' asked the stew, 'Is he not house broken?' 'No, that's not the problem. The problem is he's not weaned yet!'

A young man, in the course of his college life, came to terms with his homosexuality and decided to "come out of the closet." His plan was to tell his mother first; so on his next home visit, he went to the kitchen, where his mother was busying herself stirring stew with a wooden spoon.
Rather nervously, he explained to her that he had realized he was gay.
Without looking up from her stew, his mother said, "You mean, homosexual?"
"Well...yes."
Still without looking up: "Does that mean you suck men's penises?"
Caught off guard, the young man eventually managed to stammer an embarrassed affirmative; whereupon his mother turned to him and, brandishing the wooden spoon threateningly under his nose, snapped:
"Don't you EVER complain about my cooking again!"

Mother bought a huge turkey for Christmas dinner.
'That must have cost a fortune!' I said.
'Actually I got it for a poultry amount,' she said.
A man went to a butcher's and saw that the turkeys were 90p a pound. He said to the butcher,' Do you raise them yourself?'
'Of course I do,' the butcher replied.' They were only 50p a pound this morning!'
How do you tell the difference between tinned turkey and tinned custard?
Look at the labels!
Did you hear about the stupid turkey?
It was looking forward to Christmas!
Who made this Christmas pudding?
Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool.
What did he use to make it?
Elf-raising flour, of course.
Last year's Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the ocean.
That's probably why the ocean's full of currants!
I'd like Father Christmas stew.
Er... how do you make Father Christmas stew?
You keep him waiting half an hour!
Is that more...