Stereo Jokes / Recent Jokes

Auburn Police
23400 block, 102nd Place Southeast - A woman reported that someone stole mail from her condo and, when she was gone, entered the place to tie her shoelaces together, tilt pictures on the walls and take snaps from her clothing. There had been no forced entries. No arrests were made. (May 30)
Renton Police
3000 block, Southeast Royal Hills Drive - A 5-year-old boy threatened a 6-year-old boy with a steak knife, saying he would kill the other boy unless he agreed to come out and play. Officers arrived and took the knife, and no charges were filed due to the ages of the boys. (May 26)
Maple Valley Precinct
67200 Maple Valley-Black Diamond Highway - A Maple Valley man told police somebody broke into his house, carried a few items outside onto the lawn and set them on fire. (June 1)
Green River Community College - Campus security detained two young men prowling cars in the parking lot. One youth, estimated to be about 16, fled, but an 18-year-old was more...

A man is stealing a stereo from a car. As he is stealin it he pulls the stereo and runs out the car. The steres got fucked up because he pulled on the wires. His friend comes over to his house. The man tells his friend ” Damn foo i just jacked this stereo but this shit got fucked up” His friends tells him “Just sell it to the first stupidass you see” The replies “Wanna buy it”

Santa Singh came to New Delhi and wanted to do shopping at Janpath. His delhiite friend told him that the prices are usually hiked up and he should bargain for half the price.
Santa Singh went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told 2000 Rs.
Santa Singh asked for Rs.1000.vendor told he can give the stereo for Rs.1800 for which Santa Singh told no, no only Rs.900.
Vendor said "ok, i will give it for 1500 Rs" and our Santa Singh bargained for Rs.750.
It was going on like this when finally vendor out of irritation and thinking that this stupid Sardar is not going to buy anything. He is just wasting my time. He said he will give the stereo for free.
Santa asked whether he will give two.
Vendor now realising that the sardar is out to have some fun and really not interested in buying anything. Vendor agreed.
Santa said now he wants to have the whole shop.

1. Carefully calculate power requirements, based on room dimensions, etc. Multiply by a factor of 100.2. The ideal system should have as many lights as possible, preferably blinking and flashing in time with the music.3. The components should all have black metal finish, and generally look very cool.4. The system should be broken up into as many components as possible. (e.g. pre-amp, pre-pre-amp, pre-menstrual-amp, post-amp, post-menopause-amp, etc.)5. The most important part of a stereo system is the speakers, they should look very cool. Size and number of sub-speakers and varieties of components pointed at the listener is important. (e.g. tweeters, hooters, sub-woofers, super-sub-woofers, seismic noise generators, etc.)6. The system should resemble the cockpit of an F16 or 757 aircraft; the more knobs and dials you can turn, the better.7. The system should have full remote control capability, including over the mobile auto cellular phone so that the stereo can be playing as you get more...

P. Harris

Problem Probable Cause Remedy
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Does not work Power plug in hand Place plug in socket
and turn socket on


Not turned on Turned off Turn on.

Still does not work Bought it from Tandy Take it back and get
a real stereo.


Lights up but no No speakers Buy some speakers.
sound


Still no sound Volume set to zero Set volume to ten.


Too much sound Volume set to ten Set volume to three.


Raucous hiss Radio turned on and Turn radio off, place
no aerial record on deck, place
stylus on record.


Sounds too slow HMV 78 written on record Discard record, replace
with `Hells Bells' by
ACDC set volume to ten,
place stylus on record.


Can't hear anything Gone deaf turn stereo off and
or learn to say `eh?'


Don't more...