Step Jokes / Recent Jokes

The English language is not to be spoken. You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person. You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile. You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2. It is illegal to give a dog whiskey. In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb. Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire. Kites may not be flown within the city limits. It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck. Spitting is forbidden It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits. One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth. Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays. Cars may not be driven through the town. Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be more...

There was a blonde, brunette, and a red head they were running from the cops and ran into a shooting zone. The officer said brunette step forward. She steps forward and then the shooters yell READY...AIM... and the brunette yells TORNADO! And everyone looks around and the brunette sneeks away.
Then the shooters said red head step froward and they yelled..READY...AIM... and the red head yells HURRICANE! and they all look around and the red head sneaks away.
Then they said blonde step forward...they yelled READY...AIM... and the blonde yells FIRE!!

Topic 1
How to Fill up the Ice Cube Trays
(Step by Step with Slide Presentation)
Topic 2
The Toilet Paper Roll - Does It Grow on the Holder?
(Round Table Discussion)
Topic 3
Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and The Floor
(Pictures and Explanatory Graphics)
Topic 4
The Dirty Dishes and Silverware - Can they Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink and/or the Dishwasher?
(Examples on Video)
Topic 5
Loss of Identity: Losing the Remote to your Significant Other (Helpline Support and Support Groups)
Topic 6
Learning How to Find Things, Starting with Looking in the Right Place instead of Turning the House Upside Down While Screaming (Open Forum)
Topic 7
Health Watch: Bringing her Flowers is Not Harmful to your Health
(Graphics and Audio Tape)
Topic 8
Real Men Ask for Directions When Lost
(Real Life Testimonials)
Topic 9
Is It Genetically Impossible to Sit more...

Starting next month.

Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each. sign up early and get a discount on registration.

1. HOW TO FILL ICE-CUBE TRAYS. Step by step with slide presentation.

2. TOILET PAPER: DOES IT GROW ON THE HOLDERS? Roundtable discussion.

3. DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY BASKET AND THE FLOOR. Practicing with hamper. Pictures and graphics.

4. THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: DO THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES? Debate among panel of experts.

5. LOSS OF VIRILITY: LOSING THE REMOTE CONTROL TO YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER. Help line and support groups.

6. LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN THE RIGHT PLACE INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING. Open forum.

7. HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH. Power Point more...

A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding
where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23. The groom looked
pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might
kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman.
But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main
staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear life.
She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in
the hotel. The clerk looked really concerned,
"Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you've been wrestling an
alligator!"
The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak,
"Ohhh God! He told me he'd been saving up for 75 years, and I
thought he meant his money!!"

Kenilworth: A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow; Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back from any residence.(Dumb Laws - Illinois)

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Stepfather!
Step father who?
One stepfather and I'll be in! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Stepfather!
Step father who?
One stepfather and I'll let you have it!