Span Jokes / Recent Jokes

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. There are more chickens than people in the world. Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched." On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag. All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt". All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill. Almonds are a member of the peach family. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance. Maine is the only state whose more...

A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field, with the farmer, all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty." God agreed.
On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten." So God agreed (sigh).
On the third day, God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."
Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back more...

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and
"lollipop" with your right. (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?)
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
Maine is the only state in the U.S. whose name is just one syllable. (I'll
bet you're going to check this out.)
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or
purple.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt". (Are you
doubting this?)
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never
stop growing.
The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every
letter of the alphabet. (Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out for
accuracy, right?)
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read
left to right or right to left
(palindromes). (Yep, I knew you were going more...

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right.
(Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?)
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt" (Are you doubting this?)
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.
(Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out for accuracy, right?)
The words' racecar',' kayak', and' level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes). (Yep, I knew you were going to "do" this one.)
There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous" – tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. (You're not doubting this, are more...