Soul Jokes / Recent Jokes
C would be Judaism - it's old and restrictive, but most of the world is familiar with its laws and respects them. The catch is, you can't convert into it - you're either into it from the start, or you will think that it's insanity. Also, when things go wrong, many people are willing to blame the problems of the world on it.
Java would be Fundamentalist Christianity - it's theoretically based on C, but it voids so many of the old laws that it doesn't feel like the original at all. Instead, it adds its own set of rigid rules, which its followers believe to be far superior to the original. Not only are they certain that it's the best language in the world, but they're willing to burn those who disagree at the stake.
PHP would be Cafeteria Christianity - Fights with Java for the web market. It draws a few concepts from C and Java, but only those that it really likes. Maybe it's not as coherent as other languages, but at least it leaves you with much more freedom and more...
this guy got a new car radio you shout soul it plays soul you shout rock it plays he was driving down the street one day and 3 kids ran out in front of him and he shouted fucking kids and the radio played michael jackson
Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class.
Chuck Norris once skewered a man with the Eiffel tower.
The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
Chuck Norris doesn't own a can opener, he just chews through the can.
Occam's Razor says that the simplest answer tends to be the correct one. Norris' Razor involves a flick of the wrist and a Columbian Necktie.
Chuck Norris needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masturbate.
Proponents of higher-order theories of consciousness argue that consciousness is explained by the relation between two levels of mental states in which a higher-order mental state takes another mental state. If you mention this to Chuck Norris, expect an explosive roundhouse kick to the face for spouting too much fancy-talk.
Chuck Norris invented all 32 letters of the alphabet.
Remember The Ultimate Warrior? He more...
Q. What is good for your soul but not your soles? A. Linedancing!
Confession is good for the soul but bad for your career.
A greenhorn, not familiar with the manners of city folk, happened to be spending his holidays with his uncle in Lucknow. During his stay, there was a death in the neighbouring house. The uncle decided to take his nephew along to the bereaved family to offer his condolences. In proper Lucknawi style, the uncle began to extol the virtues of the dead man:' He was a great soul. He was not only your chachaji but the chachaji of our entire mohalla. May his soul rest in peace! We will miss him as long as we live,' And so on. Our greenhorn maintained a stiff-lipped silence.
Back home, the uncle reprimanded his nephew.' Don't they teach you manners at home? You should also have said something about the dead man being like your own real chachaji.'
The lad apologized saying he had never been to a condolence meeting before but would bear the advice in mind.
A few weeks later, a friend of the greenhorn lost his wife and he decided to offer his condolences in the formula prescribed.' more...
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, "I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrasing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife`s soul, your children`s souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners. The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, "So what`s the catch?"
A man was sent to Hell for his sins. As he was being taken to the place of eternal torment, he saw a lawyer making passionate love to a beautiful women. "What a ripoff," the man muttered. "I have to roast for all eternity and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman." Jabbing the man with his pitchfork, the escorting demon snarled, "Who are you more...