Soul Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Dharmaraj, the divine record keeper summoned Yamdoot, the messenger of death and ordered:' Go down and get the atma of Ram Lal. His time is up.'

    Yamdoot went down and found Ram Lal. But however much he looked in Ram Lai's body, he could not find his atma. He reported back to Dharmaraj.

    ' How can that be?, demanded the record keeper.' Every person has to have a soul. Go and look more carefully.'

    Yamdoot went back and looked more carefully but failed to find Ram Lal's soul.

    Dharmaraj consulted his records and could find no entry of a human being without an atma.' What does this fellow Ram Lai do for a living?', he asked.

    'He is some kind of a minister in the government,' replied Yamdoot.

    'No wonder you couldn't find a soul in his body. Go back and look in his chair. That's where Indian politicians and ministers keep their atmas.'

    A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in the long line of judgment. As he stood there he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the gates of heaven - others, though, were led over to Satan who threw them into the burning pit. But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss a soul off to one side into a small pile.

    After watching Satan do this several times, the fellows curiosity got the better of him. So he strolled over and tapped Satan on the shoulder.

    'Excuse me, Prince of Darkness,' he said.' Im waiting in line for judgment, but I couldnt help wondering, why are you tossing those people aside instead of flinging them into the fires of hell with the others?'' Ah, those...' Satan said with a groan.' They're all from Seattle; theyre too wet to burn!'

    Confession is good for the soul but bad for your career.

    A greenhorn, not familiar with the manners of city folk, happened to be spending his holidays with his uncle in Lucknow. During his stay, there was a death in the neighbouring house. The uncle decided to take his nephew along to the bereaved family to offer his condolences. In proper Lucknawi style, the uncle began to extol the virtues of the dead man:' He was a great soul. He was not only your chachaji but the chachaji of our entire mohalla. May his soul rest in peace! We will miss him as long as we live,' And so on. Our greenhorn maintained a stiff-lipped silence.
    Back home, the uncle reprimanded his nephew.' Don't they teach you manners at home? You should also have said something about the dead man being like your own real chachaji.'
    The lad apologized saying he had never been to a condolence meeting before but would bear the advice in mind.
    A few weeks later, a friend of the greenhorn lost his wife and he decided to offer his condolences in the formula prescribed.' more...

    From the Washington Post Invitational contest, which calls them Merge-Matic Books: Readers were asked to combine the works of two authors, and to provide a suitable blurb.

    Second Runner-Up: Machiavelli's The Little Prince. Antoine de Saint-Exupery's classic children's tale as presented by Machiavelli. The whimsy of human nature is embodied in many delightful and intriguing characters, all of whom are executed.

    First Runner-Up: Green Eggs and Hamlet Would you kill him in his bed? Thrust a dagger through his head? I would not, could not, kill the King. I could not do that evil thing. I would not wed this girl, you see. Now get her to a nunnery.

    And the Winner: Fahrenheit 451 of the Vanities. An' 80s yuppie is denied books. He does not object, or even notice.

    Honorable Mentions:

    Where's Walden? Alas, the challenge of locating Henry David Thoreau in each richly-detailed drawing loses its appeal when it quickly becomes clear that he is more...

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