Soul Jokes / Recent Jokes
A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in the long line of judgment. As he stood there he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the gates of heaven. Others, though, were led over to Satan who threw them into the burning pit.
But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss a soul off to one side into a small pile. After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's curiosity got the best of him. So he strolled over and asked Satan, "Excuse me, Prince of Darkness," he said. "I'm waiting in line for judgment, but I couldn't help wondering, why are you tossing those people aside instead of flinging them into the fires of hell with the others?"
"Ah, those," Satan said with a groan. "They're all from Seattle. They're too wet to burn yet."
there were two soul sisters, one says to the other,
what do you call a man that goes down on a another
man, the other sister replied, you's called them
queer, well what does you call a woman that goes
down on a another woman, you's would call them
lesbo's, well what would you call a man that
goes down on a woman, well when i catch my
breathe i calls him darling.
One Grim Weeper Come To A House To Take A Mans Soul When The Man Saw Him He Said Don't Take My Soul First My Wife Why Because
She Is Killing Me For 30 Years
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him.
The Devil told the lawyer,' 'I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners.''
The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked,' 'So, what's the catch?''
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him.
The Devil said to the lawyer, "I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money."
"All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and I want to have anal sex with your 14 year old daughter."
The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, "So, what's the catch?"
The Chocolate Ritual (You need to know a bit about wicca for this to be a knee slapper.. . )
Materials required: On the altar are brown candles, a Tootsie Roll (the big one), a large glass with milk in it (the chalice), a small dish of Nestle's Quik and a spoon, a small dish of chocolate sprinkles, a plate of cupcakes, and some Yoo-Hoo along with a goblet. The athame is represented by a cake knife reserved only for cutting Devil's Food Cake, and the pentacle is represented by a chocolate star.
CLEANSE THE SACRED SPACE:
(take the small bowl of chocolate sprinkles)
Chocolate sprinkles where thou art
Cast no calories in thy presence last.
Let no fat adhere to me
And as I will so mote it be!
Nestle's Quik where thou art cast
Turn this milk to chocolate fast.
Let all good things come to me,
and make my milk all chocolatey!
CAST THE CIRCLE
(using the Tootsie roll)
CALL THE more...
My black friend said he could tell I was a soul brother. That tickled my white ass pink.