Smiles Jokes / Recent Jokes

John
Kerry meets with the Queen of England. He asks her,
"Your Majesty,
how do you run such an efficient government? Are there
any tips you can give
to me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important
thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Kerry frowns. "But how do I know the people around
me are really intelligent?"
The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy.
You just ask them to
answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushes
a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair
in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, my Queen?"
The Queen smiles, "Answer me this, please, Tony.
Your mother and father have a child. It is not your
brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "That
would be me."
"Yes! Very good," says more...

If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work.

An Australian, an Irishman and an Englishman were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar; a man. The three men kept looking over at this other man, for he seemed somewhat familiar.
They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before, when suddenly the Irishman cried out, "My God, I know who that man is! It's Jesus!"
The others looked again and, sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table.
The Irishman call out, "Hey, you!!! Are you Jesus?"
The man looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head.
"Yes, I am Jesus," he replies.
The Irishman calls the bartender over and says to him "I'd like you to give Jesus over there a pint of Guinness from me."
So the bartender pours Jesus a Guinness and takes it over to his table. Jesus looks over, raises his glass to the men, smiles a thank you and drinks up.
The Englishman then calls out, "Errr, excuse more...

A girl walks into a supermarket and buys the following:
1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving of cereal
1 single frozen dinner
The checkout guy looks at her, smiles, and says,
`Single, HUH?`
The girl smiles sheepishly and replies,
`How`d you guess?`
He says, `Because you`re ugly.`

When Bond Meets A Cyberabad Guy, James Bond: "My Name's Bond...(Smiles And Then Says).... James Bond. And You?" Telugu Guy:
"I Am Sai... (Smiles And Then Says) Venkata Sai... Siva Venkata Sai... Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.... Srinivasulu
Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Rajasekhara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai..... Sitaramanjaneyulu Rajasekhara
Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.... Bommiraju Sitaramanjaneyulu Rajasekhara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva Venkata
Sai....