Slogans Jokes / Recent Jokes

These are fabricated corporate slogans that would never have made if far if they entered the real world.
Microsoft: "How much are you going to pay today?"
MTV: "Loud and easy to spell."
Saks 5th Avenue: "You Could Shop Here if You're Poor, But That Would be Stupid!"
Iguana: "The other green meat."
Nike: "Just buy the shoes, you flabby spineless lump!"
Daisy Air Rifles: "Keeping kids off your lawn for over forty years."
Canon Photocopiers: "Quit calling them Xeroxes!"
Apple MacIntosh: "Hey, we thought of it first!"
Radio Shack: "You've got questions, we've got geek losers!"
Professional Bowling on NBC: "Oh, why don't you just go ahead and kill yourself instead?"

In light of the recent arrest of 58 American Airlines employees for drug and weapons smuggling, here is a top ten list of new American Airlines slogans.
10) Fly Higher.
9) We're the Official Airline of the Cali Cartel.
8) We now serve one more type of coke.
7) Try our new coffee flavor: Heroin Hazelnut.
6) Our overhead bins can hold most firearms.
5) Ship 110 pounds of cocaine, pay for only 100.
4) If you have to wait on line, we'll give you a line.
3) Use your frequent flyer miles to post bail.
2) Meet our new spokesman, George W. Bush.
1) All our flights are smoking flights!

At the time of writing, Microsoft's slogan for Windows 95 was "Where do you want to go today?" These are some alternative and probably more truthful ad slogans for use with Windows.

1. Microsoft gives you Windows - OS/2 give you the whole house.

2. A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle.

3. Windows and DOS: A turtle and its shell.

4. Bang on the left side of your computer to restart Windows.

5. Windows: The colorful clown suit for DOS.

6. Error #152 - Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance.

7. Windows 3. 1: The best $89 solitaire game you can buy.

8. Windows NT: Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty.

9. I'll never forget the first time I ran Windows, but I'm trying.

10. I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better

11. My lastest screen-saver: Curtains for Windows.

12. Double your drive space: more...

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!)
When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans.
The only rule was that they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products, that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable.
About seven minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top Ten List. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone
The top ten were:
10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!
9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper.
8. Viagra, Like a rock!
7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch more...

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans.
The only rule was they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products that captured the essence of Viagra Slight variations were acceptable.
About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top 10 List. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone! The top 10 were:
10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!
9. Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper.
8. Viagra, like a rock!
7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
6 Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but more...

Microsoft's ad slogan for Windows 95 was "Where do you want to go today?"
Here are alternative slogans for the bloated OS:
1. Windows: The colorful clown suit for DOS.
2. Double your drive space: Delete Windows!
3. Windows and DOS: A turtle and its shell.
4. Microsoft gives you Windows - OS/2 give you the whole house.
5. A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle.
6. Bang on the left side of your computer to restart Windows.
7. Error #152 - Windows not found:
(C)heer (P)arty (D)ance.
8. I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better
9. I'll never forget the first time I ran Windows, but I'm trying.
10. My lastest screen-saver: Curtains for Windows.
11. OS/2... Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates.
12. Out of disk space. Delete Windows? [Y]es [H]ell Yes!
13. Windows 3.1: The best $89 solitaire game you can buy.
14. Windows NT: Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty.
15. How do more...

At the time of writing, Microsoft`s slogan for Windows 95 was "Where do you want to go today?" These are some alternative and probably more truthful ad slogans for use with Windows.

1. Microsoft gives you Windows - OS/2 give you the whole house.
2. A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle.
3. Windows and DOS: A turtle and its shell.
4. Bang on the left side of your computer to restart Windows.
5. Windows: The colorful clown suit for DOS.
6. Error #152 - Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance.
7. Windows 3. 1: The best $89 solitaire game you can buy.
8. Windows NT: Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty.
9. I`ll never forget the first time I ran Windows, but I`m trying.
10. I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better
11. My lastest screen-saver: Curtains for Windows.
12. Double your drive space: Delete Windows!
13. OS/2. Opens up Windows, shuts up more...