Simpson Jokes / Recent Jokes
by: Scott Corliss 1. The Communist Manifesto as read by Ronald Reagan 2. The Torah as read by Louis Farrakhan 3. The Koran as read by Sammy Davis Junior 4. The Bible as read by Madeleine Murray O'Hare 5. Walden as read by James Watt 6. The Anarchist's Cookbook as read by Theodore Kaczinsky 7. How To win Friends and Influence People as read by Dennis Rodman 8. Europe on $10 a Day as read by Steve Forbes 9. The Godfather as read by John Gotti 10. Mr. Boston's Bar Guide as read by Ted Kennedy 11. Heather has 2 Mommies as read by Jesse Helms 12. The Diary of Anne Frank as read by Jesse Jackson 13. The Physician's Desk Reference as read by Dr. Jack Kevorkian 14. Catcher in the Rye as read by Mark Chapman 15. Uncle Tom's Cabin as read by George Wallace 17. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus as read by 2 Live Crew 18. The Cat in the Hat as read by BF Skinner 19. Where the Wild Things Are as read by Michael Jackson 20. A Rumor of War as read by Bill Clinton 21. Presumed Innocent as read more...
Jessica Simpson forgot her lyrics, mumbled through songs, and fought back tears during a performance Thursday. Attendees called it a typical Ashlee Simpson concert.
Ex-pro football player and murderer O.J. Simpson has stepped off of the golf course, halted his search for the "real" killer, and has thrown his "hat in the ring" by stepping forward to claim that Anna Nicole's baby may be his. When asked as to why he is now claiming this, O.J. replied that he is "seeking more media attention, but doesn't feel up to killing anyone at this time".
He was then asked if he would supply some DNA to prove his case?, he said that "if you would just look close, the baby looks just like me".
(Hi guys, I received these jokes from a friend. May be a little outdated but still enjoyable.)
1) When Paula Barbieri signed up for MCI friends and family, what was the first number she gave?
- "911"
2) What was the best selling Halloween Costume the previuos year?
- An O. J. Simpson costume.
Why are stores refusing to carry it?
- They are always returned because the gloves don't fit.
3) Who's the dumbest person in America?
- OJ's next girlfriend!
4) The Florida Orange Growers Association has offered to pay all of OJ's legal bills on one
condition.
- He has to change his name to snapple.
5) Why did OJ's kids want to live with their dad?
- They knew they could get away with murder.
6) Where was Kato Kalin between 9 and 12?
- In the fourth grade.
7) What did Johnny Cochran say when accused of beating his wife?
- At least I didn't kill her like some people I know.
8) It seems that Bob more...
Tony Romo said that he's completely behind Jessica Simpson. Because she's now big enough to play center for the Dallas Cowboys.
Ashlee Simpson showed off her engagement ring on the Paul O'Grady British chat show. Made of a non-conflict diamond, the ring should pose a stunning contrast to her marriage.
Q: What's the difference between an african lion and OJ Simpson?
A: An african lion is an african lion, OJ Simpson is a lyin african!