Sidewalk Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    There were 3 basketball players, one each from IU, Notre Dame, and Purdue, standing on a burning roof in Indianapolis. The fire department came with a blanket and yelled to the Notre Dame player to jump. He jumped and they moved it to the right. He hit the sidewalk with a splat.
    They then called to the IU player to jump. He said that he wouldn’t jump. They said they liked IU better than Norte Dame. So he jumped and the fire department moved the blanket to the left. The IU player hit with a splat on the sidewalk.
    Then they called to the Purdue player to jump. He said that he wouldn’t jump. The fire department said they hated IU and Notre Dame. He yelled back, “Lay the blanket down on the sidewalk, and then I’ll jump! ”

    You can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile. It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish. Driving is not to be done while asleep. It is legal to gather and consume road kill The age of consent is 16, but 12 if the girl is a virgin.Hollow logs may not be sold. More than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel. Stealing a horse is punishable by hanging. Dyersburg: It is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date. Fayette County: You may not have more than five inoperable vehicles on a piece of property. Lenoir City: When you pull up to a stop sign you must fire a gun out the window to warn horse carriages that you are coming. Lexington: No one may eat ice cream on the sidewalk. Lexington: Spitting on the sidewalk is prohibited. Knoxville: In front of their buildings, all businesses must have a "hitching post." Memphis: Illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of more...

    There are 3 guys on an airplane 2 chinese and 1 american. The 2 chinese guys throw a rock out the window and the american asks "Why in the world did you do that?" The two chinese guys say "For luck!" So the american throws a bomb out the window and the chinese guys asks "Why in the world did you do that?" and the american says "For Luck" So they land and get off the plane. Later the 2 chinese guys see 2 little girls on sidewalk crying and they ask "Why are you girls crying?" and they said "Cause a rock fall from the sky and hit us on the head." So the american gets off and walks and sees a little boy on the sidewalk laughing so hard that his face is blue and he ask "Why are you laughing?" The little boy says "My dad farted and the house blew up!!"

    This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny wearing a red firefighter's hat and sitting in a red wagon which is being pulled slowly by a large Labador Retriever. When he got a little closer, he saw that the kid was holding a rope which is tied to the dog's testicles, which may explain why the dog is walking so slowly. Going up to the kid, he said,"That's a nice fire engine you got there, but I bet it would go faster if you have the rope around the dog's neck." "Yeah," the kid replied."But I wouldn't have a siren."

    You cannot sell lettuce on Sunday, but you can sell beer, wine etc. Driving while not wearing shoes is prohibited. It is illegal to tickle women. It is illegal to sell peanut brittle on Sundays. Culpeper: No one may wash a mule on the sidewalk. Lebanon: It is illegal to kick your wife out of bed. Norfolk: Spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated. Norfolk: A man may face 60 days in jail for patting a woman's derriere. Norfolk: Women must wear a corset after sundown and be in the company of male chaperone. Richmond: It is illegal to flip a coin in a restaurant to see who pays for a coffee. Stafford County: It is legal for a man to beat his wife on the courthouse steps so long as it is before 8:00 pm. Victoria: It is illegal to skate down the sidewalk of Main Street. Virginia Beach: It is illegal for a person to ride on the handlebars of a bike. Virginia Beach: It is illegal to use profanity on Atlantic Avenue or the boardwalk. Virginia Beach: It is also unlawful to drive by the same more...

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