Shortcut Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What is the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Two guys were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery.
When they reached the middle of the cemetery, they were startled to hear a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the shadows. Trembling with fear, they discovered an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
"Good grief, Mister," one of them said, as he caught his breath, "you darn near scared us to death. What on earth are you doing working here so late at night?"
"Doggone fools!" grumbled the old man. "They misspelled my name!"

This is a joke told by Dave Allen on one of his
shows (British program 'Dave Allen at Large').
A drunk leaves a bar and decides to take a shortcut through a
graveyard. It is raining heavily and very dark. The drunk
fails to see an open grave and falls into it. He tries to
climb out of it, but it is too deep and the rain has turned
the dirt to mud and has made it too slippery to climb. He
gives up after a while and decides to spend the night there.
A while later, another drunk leaves the same bar and decides
to take the same shortcut through the graveyard. He, too,
falls into that open grave and tries to climb out but the
mud is too slippery. The first drunk is still sitting there
and watches as the other drunk tries but fails to get out.
The first drunk stands up, taps the second drunk on the shoulder
and tells him, "You'll never get out!"
He did.
Dave Allen is an excellent storyteller and a very more...

Taking a shortcut through a graveyard on their way home, the fellow and the girl began to feel the eerie mood of the place.
"Scary, ain't it!" said the youth, putting his arm protectively around the girl.
"Yes, isn't it!" said the girl.
"Weird, ain't it!" said the fellow, holding her closer.
"Yes, isn't it!"
"Gruesome, ain't it!"
"Yes, hasn't it!"

Once A Boy Got Admission In An English Medium School. He Couldn't Talk In English. On His First Day They Were Going On A
Picnic. He Got Up Late So He Got Ready Quickly And Went For School. He Took A Shortcut And The Shortcut Was A Lake. There Was A
Man With A Boat. He Asked The Man If He Could Help Him Cross The Lake. He Said That If You Give Rs 10 To Me I Will Help You
Cross The River. The Boy Had Only Rs 5 So He Decided To Swim Across. As He Was Crossing The Lake A Crb Bit Him On His Leg. He
Went To A Hospital Near The School And Went To His Picnic Place As It Was Near The School. The Teacher Asked Him What
Happned. He Said "Ek Kekde Ne Mera Paon Kaat Liya To Mera Pear Dard Kar Raha Hai". The Teacher Said You Are A Grown Up Boy You
Shopuld Talk In English, Tell This To Me In English. He Said" One Kekda Cut My Tangda And I Am Langda.