Short Jokes / Recent Jokes

Top Ten Reasons To Work An Overtime Shift On The Weekend
10. Think of all the weight you'll lose from not getting to eat because of short staffing.
9. Think of the closeness you'll develop with you're co-workers after being knee-deep in Code 10's/Blues and Code "Browns".
8. Everyone is so frazzled, so next to them you look fabulous!
7. Think of what a challenge it will be to your nursing skills to run a Code without a Crash Cart because they are all down in Central being replaced.
6. The joy of having the previous shift's charge nurse tell you, " I don't understand why no one would return my calls to work today/tonight. Oh, and by the way, you are short two nurses and a CNA for this shift with a full house of patients sick as dog dirt."
5. Because you're a new grad and you want to be a "TEAM PLAYER" like your head nurse told you to be. (That and you have "sucker" stamped on your forehead!)
4. When you go home more...

Waiter, waiter, this coffee tastes like mud.
I'm not surprised, sir, it was ground only a few minutes ago.

"A lot of people mistake a short memory with a clear conscience." — Doug Larson

An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat,
jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink.
As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down
next to him.
After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and
asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
"Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch herding
cows, breaking horses, mending fences... I guess I am,"
replied the cowboy.
After a short while he asked her what she was.
"I've never been on a ranch so I know I'm not a cowboy,"
said the young woman, "but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole
day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the
morning I think of women. When I eat, shower, watch TV,
everything seems to make me think of women."
A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another
drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a
real more...

One song short of a musical.

One span short of a bridge.

One step short of the attic.

One strawberry short of a quart.

One strike past being called out.

One sub short of a party platter.

One taco/enchilada short of a combination plate.

One teabag short of a pot.

One tower short of a castle.

One tree short of a hammock.

One vine short of the tree. (For Tarzan types.)

One weight short of a shipwreck.

Only one oar in the water.

Only playing with 51 cards.

Only playing with the jokers.

What does the school principal and a bullfrog have in common?
Both have a big head that consists mostly of mouth.

Chicago sent its police chief, fire chief, and city attorney to a municipal management conference in Indiana. While driving through a rural area, their car broke down, and they sought assistance at a nearby farmhouse.
The farmer told them that the local garage was closed, and that they were welcome to spend the night, but that he only had one spare bed. He told them that somebody could sleep on his couch, but that one of them would have to spend the night in his barn.
The police chief announced that he would volunteer to sleep in the barn. A short time later there was a knock at the door. It was the police chief, complaining that he could not sleep. There were pigs in the barn, and they reminded him of insults that had been yelled at him, and he was too disturbed to sleep.
The fire chief stated that he would trade with the police chief, and went out to the barn. A short time later, again there was rapping at the door. It was the fire chief, who complained that the cows more...