Seven Jokes / Recent Jokes
Chuck Norris eats eight meals a day. Seven are steak, and the last is the rest of the cow.
Chuck Norris does know what Willis is talking about!
Chuck Norris don't open no can of whoopass. He makes his own.
Chuck Norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit.
Chuck Norris's body temperature is 98.6 degrees... Celsius.
The world's fastest car has 7 gears. 5, 6, and Chuck Norris.
The active ingredient in Red Bull is Chuck Norris's sweat.
The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: Chuck Norris' left and right hands, his left and right feet, his belly button, his liver, and his beard.
When Chuck Norris goes to Vegas, he doesn't have to gamble. The casinos just give him stacks of money.
In an emergency, Chuck Norris can be used as a flotation device.
When Chuck Norris is ready to wake up, he tells the sun to get the above the horizon.
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris more...
The Charade
The world's greatest charade player brags that he can guess any charade. A TV producer decides to use the charade player in a TV special. He issues a challenge offering the charade player a million dollars to guess a very hard charade on television. The Charade player agrees.
Comes the big night, all the world is watching. The charade player is sitting on stage in front of a curtain. Music blares and the curtain opens to reveal seven nude young women.
The second and fourth ladies are holding their breasts, while the other five have their backs to him and are baring their behinds.
The charade player barely glances over them and says,' 'The William Tell Overture by Rossini.''
The flabbergasted producer says in awe,' 'You've done it!. That's the right answer. You are indeed the greatest charade player!'' and hands him a check for a million bucks.
Walking out, a reporter stops the charade player and ask him how more...
Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions.
One seventy year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee."
An eighty year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement."
The ninety year old man says, "At seven I pee like a horse, at eight I crap like a cow." "So what's your problem?" asked the others.
"I don't wake up until nine."
Pat and Mike are playing golf one day and Pat hits a hook off the tee into a deep ravine running alongside the fairway. He goes down into the ravine to look for his ball while Mike takes the cart over to the other side of the fairway.After a while, Mike realizes that he hasn't seen Pat in quite some time so he goes back over to the ravine. Looking down, he sees his partner sitting on the ground shaking uncontrollably. Next to him is a skeleton clutching a seven iron with a golf ball next to his feet.Mike descends into the ravine and helps Pat stand up. After he composes himself, Pat says "What do you think we should do?""Well," says Mike, "I sure don't think you want to use your seven iron."
The Top 16 Biblical Ways To Acquire A Wife16. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. - Deuteronomy 2115. Find a prostitute and marry her. - Hosea (Hosea 1)14. Find a woman with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.. - Moses (Exodus 2)13. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. - Boaz (Ruth 4)12. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. - Benjaminites (Judges 21)11. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib. - Adam (Genesis 2)10. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman. - Jacob (Genesis 29)9. Cut off 50 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies more...
There are these two nude statues, man and woman, standing across from each other in a secluded park. A few hundred years after they've been put in place, an angel flutters down to them. A wave of his hand, and suddenly the statues have been given flesh and they step down from their pedestals.
The angel says, "I have been sent to grant the mutual request you both have made after hundreds of years of standing across from each other, unable to move. But be quick--you only have fifteen minutes until you must become statues again."
The man looks at the woman, and they both flush, and giggle, and run off into some underbrush. An intense rustling comes from the bushes, and seven minutes later, they both come back to the angel, obviously satisfied. The angel smiles at the couple. "That was only seven minutes--why not go back and do it again?"
The former statues look at each other for a minute, and then the woman says, "Why not? But more...
If Six is afraid of Seven because Seven ate (Eight) Nine, why did Six soon die?
Because Six, Seven ate (Eight) (678)