Senile Jokes / Recent Jokes

No one believes seniors. . . everyone thinks they are senile.

They were celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.

Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved "I love you, Sally."

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money--and it's fifty-thousand dollars.

Andy said, "We've got to give it back."

Sally said, "Finders keepers." She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knock on the door. "Pardon me, but did more...

Bush and His Running Mate

Now that it seems almost a certainty that George W. Bush will become the Republican nominee for President, attention will soon focus upon whom Governor Bush will pick for his Vice Presidential running mate. It is rumored that one of the names on the' short list' currently being floated in upper level Republican circles is former Vice President, Dan Quayle.

For many, there seems to be some very sound reasoning for picking Quayle. As was pointed out by one senior official who wished not be identified, Quayle "already knows how to do the job, will contribute gaffes that will deflect attention away from Bush's own, and in a cost saving side benefit will help the party minimize printing costs for new' Bush-Quayle' posters and bumper stickers (since they can use the leftovers from the 1988 and 1992 campaigns).

Apparently, part of the overall strategy is the targeting of a key demographic group that has been virtually ignored in more...

Phil loved golf, but his eye sight had gotten so bad, that he couldn't find his ball once he'd hit it.
He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Phil bring along her uncle John.
Phil said, "But John is 80 years old and half senile!"
His wife replied, "Yes, but his eyesight is incredible."
Phil finally agreed and took John along. He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly.
He asked Ted, "Do you see it?"
John nodded his head and said, "Boy, that was a beautiful shot!"
Phil excitedly asked, "Well, where did it land?!"
John said, "Hmmm. I forgot."