Scholar Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Scholar rented a room from a monastery to use for study. In fact, he played all around instead of studying. One afternoon, he suddenly came back and called the page boy to fetch him a book. At first, the page boy fetched the Liang Dynasty Wenxuan. He looked at the book and said," Too low." Then, he brought the scholar the classic History of the Han Dynasty, but the answer was still "Too low." Finally, he brought a third famous classic, the Records of the Historian, but the answer was still "Too low." A monk, very astonished by this, confronted the scholar," Generally, if a person masters one of these great books in a lifetime he is considered well-learned. Why do you say these classics are low books?" "I'm trying to find a book that's just the right height to use as a pillow," the scholar replied," these are all too low."

A young woman brings home her fiance to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man.The father invites the fiancee to his study for a drink. "So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man. "I am a Torah scholar." he replies. "A Torah scholar. Hmmm," the father says. "admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live
in, as she's accustomed to?" "I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us." "And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father. "I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "God will provide for us." "And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?" "Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiance. The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father more...

A young woman brings her fiancee' home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man, so the father invites the fiancee' to his study for a drink.
"So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man. "I am a Torah scholar," he replies. "A Torah scholar. Hmmm," the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she's accustomed to?"
"I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."
"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father.
"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "God will provide for us."
"And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?"
"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiancee'.
The conversation proceeds like more...

A nice Jewish girl brings home her fiancé to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. He invites the fiancée to his study for some Schnapps. "So what are your plans?" the father asks the fiancé. "I am a Torah scholar," he replies. "A Torah scholar." the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she's accustomed to?" "I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us." "And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father. "I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "God will provide for us." "And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?" "Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiancé. The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father more...

The daughter brings home her boy friend to meet the family. Things are getting serious. The father takes the boy aside:
"What do you do for a living?" he asks the boy.
"I'm a Torah scholar" admits the boy.
"Wonderful, but what are your plans?" inquires the father.
"I will be a Torah Scholar," says the boy.
"How do you intend to support my daughter?" the father asks.
"I will study the Torah, and G-d will provide for us," says the boy.
"Ok, but how will you provide, Baruch HaShem, for my grandchildren?"
"I will study the Torah and G-d will provide for all of us," says the boy.
After dinner, when the boy goes home, and the mother and father are in the privacy of their bedroom, the mother asks, " Nu, how did it go?"
"Well," the father says, "there's good news and bad news. The bad news is he has no means of support, but, the good news is, he more...

A young woman brings home her fiance to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man.

The father invites the fiancee to his study for a drink. "So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man.

"I am a Torah scholar," he replies.

"A Torah scholar. Hmmm," the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she's accustomed to?"

"I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us." "And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father.

"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "God will provide for us."

"And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?" "Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the more...

One day a scholar taught his son to read the Chinese word "one". Soon the boy learnt it by heart. The next day while the scholar was wiping the table, he happened to write on the table top a "one" with his wet rag to quiz his son. The boy couldn't read it at all. This is the word "one" I taught you to read yesterday, now isn't it? said the scholar. Oh! But how big it has become overnight! said the boy in surprise.