Salvation Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said.' I'd like to buy a bra for my wife'

    'What type of bra?' asked the clerk.

    'Type?' inquires the man' There is more than one type?'

    'Look Around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material.

    'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras,' replied the salesclerk.

    Confused, the man asked what were the types.

    The saleslady replied' The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?'

    Still confused the man asked' What is the difference between them?'

    The lady responded' It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the and the Baptist type makes mountains out more...

    A man walked into the Lingerie Department of Macy's in New York City.
    He tells the sales lady, "I would like a Jewish bra for my wife, size 34B."
    With a quizzical look, the sales lady asked, "What kind of bra?"
    He repeated "A Jewish bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a Jewish bra, and that you would know what she wanted."
    Ah...... now I remember," said the saleslady. "We don't get as many requests for them as we used to. Mostly our customers lately want the Catholic bra, or the Salvation Army bra, or the Presbyterian bra."
    Confused, and a little flustered, the man sked "So, what are the differences?"
    The sales lady responded. "It is really quite simple. The Catholic bra supports the masses. The Salvation Army lifts up the fallen, and the Presbyterian bra keeps them staunch and upright."
    He mused on that information for a minute and said: "Hmmm. I know I'll regret asking, but more...

    A man walks into the woman's section of a department store and tells the sales clerk he wants to buy a bra for his wife.
    "What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
    "Type?" inquires the man, "there's more than one type?"
    "There are three types." Replies the clerk,
    "The Catholic type, the Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?"
    Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference in them?"
    The clerk responds, "It is really very easy. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen and the Baptist type makes mountain's out of mole hills."

    A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife"
    What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
    "Type?" inquires the man. "There is more than one type?"
    "Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras," replied the salesclerk.
    Confused, the man asked what the types were.
    The saleslady replied "The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?"
    Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?"
    The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills."

    It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath, and young nun, Sister Magdalene had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray. The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone." Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily. "I've been saved." Saved? And how did that fine thing come about?" asked the old nun "Well, when Fr. John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven." "Did he now?" said the old nun evenly. Sister Magdalene continued, "And Fr. John said that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured of salvation and eternal peace. And then Father more...

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