Rubbed Jokes / Recent Jokes

Teacher: I Want Whatever Done On The Board To Be In Your Note Book (Next Day) Teacher: Rahul Where Is Your Work Rahul: Ma'am As You Wrote On The Board I Wrote It And As Cleared The Board I Also Rubbed It.

A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest,' 'I had an affair with a woman - almost.'' The priest says,' 'What do you mean,' almost'?'' The man says,' 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.''

The priest replies,' 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'' The man leaves confessional, goes over and says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box.

He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave. The priest, who was watching him, quickly runs over to him and says,' 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'' The man replied,' 'Well, Father, I rubbed up against it and you said it was the same as putting it in!''

He laid her on the table
So white clean and bare.
His forehead wet with beads of sweat
He rubbed her here and there.
He touched her neck and then her breast
And then drooling felt her thigh.
The slit was wet and all was set,
He gave a joyous cry.
The hole was wide... he looked inside
All was dark and murky.
He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms...
And then he stuffed the turkey.

He laid her on the table, so white so clean so bare,
His forehead wet with beads of sweat,
He rubbed her here and rubbed her there,
He touched her neck and then felt her breast, then drooling felt her thigh,
The slit was wet and all was set and he gave a joyous cry.
He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms...
And then he stuffed the turkey.
May i be the first to wish your dirty mind,
A very merry christmas

MURPHY goes into the confessional and says to his priest "I had an affair with a woman... almost."
The priest says, "What do you mean, almost?"
MURPHY says, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped"
The priest says, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say 5 Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."
MURPHY leaves the confessional, says his prayers,
then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly runs over to him saying, "MURPHY!!! I saw that you didn't put any money in the poor box!"
MURPHY replies, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in.

This man was having problems getting it up to have sex with his wife, so he went to the doctor for advice. The doctor told him the next time he wanted to have sex, to stick his finger in his wife's pussy, and then rub it under his nose, and the smell would cause his hormones to kick in, and he would obtain an erection. That night, he decided to make his move. He turned out all the lights and got into bed. He put his finger in her pussy, and then rubbed it under his nose. He felt a tingling in his cock, and it began to stiffen. Amazed, he decided to see what would happen if he used two fingers. He stuck them in her pussy, then rubbed them both under his nose, and his cock quickly jumped to 3/4 erect. He decided to try 3 fingers, so he put them in her pussy, then rubbed them all around under his nose. Soon he was sporting the biggest hard on he could remember. He said, "Honey, quick turn on the lights, and check this out!" She turned on the lights, and with his dick standing more...

Stuffing...
He laid her on the table
So white clean and bare.
His forehead wet with beads of sweat
He rubbed her here and there.
He touched her neck and then her breast
And then drooling felt her thigh.
The slit was wet and all was set,
He gave a joyus cry.
The hole was wide...he looked inside
All was dark and murky.
He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms...
And then he stuffed the turkey.