Route Jokes / Recent Jokes
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back - eyes wide and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit?" she asked. No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle more...
Which route should you take through the woods when riding a fizzy horse? The psycho-path!
Santa Singh was a not too smart kind of guy. Everyday
when he walked home from work, he would get stopped by
three nasty men and they would beat him up and steal
his money. Finally, Santa decided that it would serve
his best interest to walk a different route and then
take up some self-defense classes so,
this wouldn`t happen again.
He joined a karate class and soon was doing very well
to defend himself. So, one day, on the way home from
work Santa took his old route home and sure enough
there they were.
He walked up to them and the battle ensued.
The next afternoon Santa went to his karate class
with a black eye,
a broken nose and a busted lip. His instructor,
shocked, asked him what happened?
`Well,` explained Santa, `I took my old way home
last night so I could beat these guys up who were
stealing my money, but they beat me up before I
could get my shoes and socks off!`
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.
"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says' Do Not Disturb'!"
Having retired several months before, Mr. Boniface was bored and went looking for part-time work. Landing a job as a school bus driver and given a very short route to begin with, he was handed a set of keys and told that his bus would be in spot number fifteen the following morning.
The next day Mr. Boniface went to the bus depot and boarded his bus-which, as it happened, was decorated with Sesame Street characters. Though he felt a tad foolish driving a bus with Big Bird on the door, Mr. Boniface knew-the lads must like it and put the decorations; from his mind.
The first lads he picked up were two chubby girls, both of whom happened to be named Pat-, tie. Both carried peanut butter sandwiches and as they took huge, snorting bites, dripped jelly all over the bus. At the next stop, portly Hoss and his mother came on, the woman going on; and on about how special her brilliant son was and how she hoped Mr. Boniface would drive very carefully. The last child on the route was more...
Bhola as you know, is a not too smart kind of guy. Everyday when he walked home from work, he would get stopped by three nasty men and they would beat him up and steal his money.
Finally, Bhola decided that it would serve his best interest to walk a different route and then take up some self-defense classes so this wouldn't happen again.
He joined a karate class and soon was doing very well to defend himself. So, one day, on the way home from work Bhola took his old route home and sure enough there they were. He walked up to them and the battle ensued.
The next afternoon Bhola went to his karate class with a black eye, a broken nose and a busted lip. His instructor, shocked, asked him what happened.
"Well," explained Bhola, "I took my old way home last night so I could beat these guys up who were stealing my money, but they beat me up before I could get my shoes and socks off!"
One Sunday, sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH.
He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as
dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his
lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back - wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! I always go exactly the speed limit. What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly! Twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.
The State Police officer, trying to more...