Rosary Jokes

A priest was assigned a small church in the Alaskan backwoods.
After a couple of years, the bishop stopped by to see how he was doing.
"Ah, Bishop, it's really lonely here. I couldn't have made it without my Rosary and two martinis a day."
The bishop replied, "You know, a martini would taste good right now."
The priest agreed and yelled into the kitchen, "Hey, Rosary! Fix us a couple of martinis, will ya!?"

This man is in church and hears his preacher telling about these 2 male birds he has that will hold the rosary beads and say prayers, so this man comes up to him after church and says"father I also have 2 female birds, but all they can say is "Hi where hookers wanna have some fun" .the preacher told the man to bring the 2 female birds over that night and they will place them in with the 2 male birds and try to teach the 2 female birds to pray, so that night he took the birds to the preachers house and sure enough the 2 male birds where in there cage holding the rosary beads and saying prayers, when they placed the 2 female birds in the cage they looked at the 2 male birds and went"hi where hookers wanna have some fun" ..the one male bird looks at the other male bird and said"lay the beads down Frank our prayers have been answered"

Pat O`Leary left Cork for Philadelphia where he found a job on a building site. When payday rolled around Pat went out on the town, got drunk as a goat and spent the night with a prostitute. The following day (Saturday) Pat decided to go to confession and tell all. When the irish priest heard his confession he told Pat to say twenty Our irish fathers, twenty Hail Marys, and twenty decades of the Rosary and to put $20 in the poor box. Two weeks later Pat`s mate, Rory O`Brien, told Pat he was leaving for San Francisco because there was tons of work there and the money to be made was more than twice what could be made in Philly. After a little coaxing Pat decides to go with Rory. At the end of his first week on his new job Pat`s wages were more than double anything he`d made before. Off he goes for a night on the town. Gets drunk as a lord and spends the night with a prostitute. Come morning remorse sets in and Pat goes to Mission Dolores for confession. After hearing Pat`s confession more...