Rooster Jokes / Recent Jokes

What is the difference between humor and odor?
Humor is a move of wit.
What is the difference between a rich man and a poor man?
A rich man has a shelter over his bed.
What is the difference between a snake and a goose?
A snake is an asp in the grass.
What is the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?
A rooster says cock-a-doodle do.
What is the difference between a girls track team and a band of Austrailian Aboriginies?
The Austrailian Aboriginies are a bunch of cunning runts.
What is the difference between a prostitute with diharreha and an epileptic Nebraska cornhusker?
The epileptic Nebraska cornhusker has fits before he shucks.
What is the longest thing on earth?
A womans leg. It goes from earth to heaven.

There was a farmer who was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs. He kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn't perform well went into the pot and was replaced. Now this took an awful lot of time. So when the farmer saw a set of 8 tiny bells that each rang a different tone he promptly bought them.
He glued a piece of foam rubber to each clapper shaft so the bell wouldn't ring except when violently shaken. He hung a bell on each rooster's neck and went and mixed a Mint Julep. Now he could sit on the porch and sip while filling out an efficiency report on the roosters by listening to the different tones of the bells and marking down each encounter.
The farmer's favorite rooster was old Brewster. Brewster was a fine specimen, but his bell didn't ring all morning. He went to investigate.
Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing. Brewster had his bell in more...

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says “Ok, old fellow, time to retire. ” The old rooster says “You can’t handle all these chickens…. look at what it did to me! ”
The young rooster replies, “Now, don’t give me a hassle about this. Time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a hike. ” The old rooster says, “Aw, c’mon….. just let me have the two old hens over in the corner. I won’t bother you. ” The young rooster says, “Scram! Beat it! You’re washed up! I’m taking over! ” So, the old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster, “I’ll tell you what, young fellow, I’ll have a race with you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins the race gets domain of the chicken coop. ” The young rooster says, “You know I’m going to beat you, old man, just to be fair, I’m even going to give you a head start. ” more...

There was a farmer. He had alot of chickens but had no roosters.
So in order to get eggs he went and got a rooster. The man he got the rooster form told him that the rooster would screw everything in sight. But the farmer wanted the rooster anyway.
So he took it home and it screwed all the chickens. After a while it started screwing all the other farm animals.
So one day the farmer walked up to the rooster and said,"Ya better stop screwing everything or you will screw yourself to death!" But the rooster just kept on screwing.
One day the farmer was walking through the field, and he found the rooster laying on the ground with buzzards flying all around.
So he walked up to the rooster and said,"I told you you'd screw yourself to death!" then the rooster opened his eyes and said, - "SHUT-UP! I'm trying to get them to land!"

There was a farmer. He had alot of chickens but had no roosters. So in order to get eggs he went and got a rooster. The man he got the rooster form told him that the rooster would screw everything in sight. But the farmer wanted the rooster anyway. So he took it home and it screwed all the chickens. After a while it started screwing all the other farm animals. So one day the farmer walked up to the rooster and said,"Ya better stop screwing everything or you will screw yourself to death!" But the rooster just kept on screwing. One day the farmer was walking through the field, and he found the rooster laying on the ground with buzzards flying all around. So he walked up to the rooster and said,"I told you you'd screw yourself to death!" then the rooster opened his eyes and said, - "SHUT-UP! I'm trying to get them to land!"

Q. What is a difference between a rooster and a blonde?
A. A rooster goes cockadoodledoo and a blonde goes anycockwilldoo

There is this old rooster on a farm. One day the farmer said that he needs a younger rooster. So he buys one. He brings it back to the farm. The old rooster says, "I bet I can race you around the barn 3 times and win". Then the younger rooster says "your on". Then when they start the race, the old rooster jumps ahead, the younger rooster is right behind him. One lap, two laps, 2 and a half laps then BANG the young rooster is blown to smithereenes!!! The farmer was on his porch with his shot gun. Then the farmer says, "THATS THE 2ND FUCKIN GAY ROOSTER I HAVE HAD THIS WEEK."