Roo Jokes

A bloke is driving around in the Australian bush and because it's Australia his truck has got a' roo bar on the front that protects it if he hits a kangaroo. Suddenly he hits something, so he gets out and sees that there's a pig wedged between his' roo bar and his truck. He tries to get it out but it's stuck tight, so he gets on his CB radio and asks for advice.

"Breaker breaker. I've got a pig stuck behind my' roo bar. How can I get it out?"

A reply comes back. "Just slice open the pig and let the guts spill out. The pig will fall out."

So the guy does this and as predicted the pig falls straight out. "OK, I've cut open the pig and it's out, but now I've got another problem."

"What is it now?" says the bloke on the radio.

"What do I do with his motorcycle and helmet?"

> Everything was rather quiet in the hundred acre wood. The trees whispered
> to each other as the wind rustled their leaves. Under a large oak tree,
> there lived Pooh bear. From inside Pooh's house, there came a steady
> bang... bang... bang!, that was making his honey jars rattle on the
> sideboard. The light came through the window, and in the evening sun Pooh
> raised the axe once more and brought it down on the tattered remains of
> Christopher Robin. "Why... won't... he... fit..." puffed Pooh to himself as
> the axe came down once more. There was a small pile of earth, and a hole
> next to it, which Pooh had hidden with his favourite rug. Christopher
> Robin, selfish prat that he was, didn't quite fit in the hole Pooh had
> dug, so instead of making it wider he had decided to hack Christopher
> Robin's legs off. "A far more sensible idea", thought Pooh, and hummed a
> little song to himself as he more...