Rich Jokes / Recent Jokes

A rich man and a poor man are talking about what they gave their wives for Valentine's Day.

The rich man says "I got my wife a Mercedes and a 3 CRT. diamond ring."

The poor man says "Why did you get her both?"

"Because if she doesn't like one she always has the other...what did you get your wife?"

The poor man replies, "I got her slippers and a dildo."

The rich man says "Why did you get her a dildo?"

The poor man says, "So if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go f*ck herself."

At a church meeting a very wealthy man rose to tell the rest of those present about his Christian faith.
"I'm a billionaire," he said, "and I attribute it all to the rich blessings of God in my life. I remember that turning point in my faith. I had just earned my first dollar and I went to a church meeting that night. The speaker was a missionary who told about his work. I knew that I only had a dollar bill and had to either give it all to God's work or nothing at all. So at that moment I decided to give my whole dollar to God. I believe that God blessed that decision, and that is why I am a rich man today."
He finished and there was an awed silence at his testimony as he moved toward his seat. As he sat down a little old lady sitting in the same pew leaned over and said to him, "I dare you to do it again."

There were three men. Joe, Rich, and Scott.

They were all camping in the woods, and they knew they had to stop for
the
night. Joe suggested they stop where they were right there, a nice
clear,
wooded area. Rich agreed, but Scott disagreed, because there was nothing
interesting around, only trees.

They kept hiking for a little longer, and came across a small clear area,
right next to the highway. Both Joe and Rich wanted to saty there because
there was no stumps, or moss around, and the sounds of the cars could
help
to put them asleep. Scott said no, because he found a small ant farm 500
meters away, and was scared the ants might come, and get them.

SO they kept hiking, and finally, they came to the end of the woods, and
stepped onto the highway. Scott was mystified, and wanted to sleep right
smack dab in the middle of the highway. It was interesting, and he wanted
to look at all the more...

One day this rich guy was having a party at his house. He was loaded, and he had everything: money, a big house in Beverly Hills, drugs, girls, cars, planes -- anything he wanted. The guy was also a little eccentric, and he had filled his pool with crocodiles.

So there he was, he and his friends all standing around drinking, getting high and partying next to the pool. The guy gets up on the lifeguard tower and all his friends look up.

He calls for silence and says, "OK, the first person that swims across my pool will get all my money."

No one moves. The guy looks over the crowd, draws on his joint and says, " OK, the first person that swims across my pool gets all my money and my house."

Still no one moves. "OK then, the first person that swims across my pool gets all my money, my house and all my cars and planes."

Still, no one moves, not even a eye blinks this time. "OK then, all my money, my more...

Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children. J. Paul Getty A man explained inflation to his wife thus:' When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much.' Lord Barnett Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. Rita Rudner If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. Dorothy Parker My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. Errol Flynn

Four men are golfing one day. The first man steps up to tee and states boastfully "My son is so rich that he bought his lover a house".
The second man steps up to tee and says, "Well, MY son is so rich that he bought his lover a new car".
The third man steps up and says, "My son is so wealthy that he bought his lover a whole summer home in Miami."
Finally, the fourth man goes to tee and he says, "Well, my son isn't rich and self-made like yours and he's gay, and from what I hear, despite my objections, he has 3 separate lovers and from them he just got a new house, a new car, and a summer home in Miami."

Two poor kids were invited by a rich kid to a swimming party at his pool. When they were changing into their swim trunks, one turned to the other and said: "Did you notice the small dongs on the rich kids?" The other answered: "Yeah! It's probably because they have toys to play with!"