Retirees Jokes

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?""No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday."And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."

A Safe Bet, Bush Reassures Nation

In a bold move to privatize Social Security, President George W. Bush today put all of the program's funds under the control of former Education Secretary William Bennett, urging Mr. Bennett to "work your magic" on the nation's nest egg.

Recognizing that many retirees are nervous about the privatization of America's retirement system, Mr. Bush reassured them today, stating flatly, "Bill Bennett is a safe bet."

"I have known Bill Bennett for many years," Mr. Bush told reporters. "This is a man who knows when to hold' em and knows when to fold' em."

A beaming Mr. Bennett stood at Mr. Bush's side, the former Education Secretary wearing what he later called "my lucky hat."

He spoke briefly with reporters before boarding a plane for the Venetian casino in Las Vegas, where he said he would begin to implement his "can't lose" investment plan for more...