Responded Jokes / Recent Jokes

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The candidate responded, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The HR person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% salary, and a company car leased every two years - say a red Corvette?"
The graduate sat up mouth agape and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the HR person responded, "Certainly... but you started it!"

A girl was visiting her friend, noticed she had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The friend responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
The girl said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs something like that?"
Whereupon the friend responded: "What else are you going to name watch dogs?"

God created the mule, and told him,' you will be Mule, workingconstantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years. The mule answered:' To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20.' And it was so. Then God created the dog, and told him,' you will hold vigilanceover the dwellings of Man, to him you will be his greatest companion. Youwill eat his table scraps and live for 25 years.'And the dog responded,' Lord, to live 25 years as a dog is too much. Please, no more than 10 years.' And it was so. God then created the monkey, and told him,' You are Monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years.'And the monkey responded,' Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of theworld is too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10 years.' And it was so. Finally, God created Man and told him,' You are Man, the only more...

St Peter is standing at heaven’s gate when a man walks up.
“Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life? ”
“I was a policeman, ” he responded.
“What kind of policeman? ” St Peter asked.
“I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids. ”
“Wonderful my son, welcome to heaven. Pass through the gates. ”
A few moments later a second man walks up.
“Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life? ”
“I was a policeman, ” he responded.
“What kind of policeman? ” St Peter asked.
“I was a traffic officer. I kept the roads and highways safe for travelers. ”
“Well done. Pass through the gates into paradise. ”
A few moments later a third man walks up.
“Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life? ”
“I was a policeman, ” he responded.
“What kind of policeman? ” St Peter asked.
“I was a Military more...

Computer novices may feel like they’re alone these days, but some of the following calls to IBM’s help center show there are plenty of people out there who still are inching onto the information superhighway. After a caller gave a technician her PC’s serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, “I see you have an Aptiva” desktop unit. Before he could say another word, the caller shrieked and said she’d be right back. When the customer returned, the technician asked if she was all right. The caller responded: “Had I realized you could see me, I never would have telephoned in my bathrobe. ”A customer who had just received a laptop computer asked about the power-saving feature known as “hibernate. ” Would this hibernate device work in the spring and summer, the caller asked. Another caller explained she had received a gift of software on 5. 25-inch diskettes, but she had only a 3. 5-inch disk drive on her computer.
The technician said more...

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position.
The pilot responded "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building more...

A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. Whats more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad Ali too. Said the policeman, "Ill bet that youre also an escape artist-probably better than Houdini."The giant nodded."If I had some chains," the deputy continued, "you could show us how strong you really are. But all Ive got is a set of handcuffs. Why dont you see just how quickly you can break out of them?"Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes. "I cant get out of these," the giant growled."Are you sure?" the deputy asked. The fellow tried again. "Nope," he replied. "I cant do it.""In that case," said the deputy, "youre under arrest."