Rejected Jokes / Recent Jokes

I was helping someone set up his computer, and he wanted to log in with a password. Now you have to understand he's got somewhat of a rebellious attitude and goes for the shock effect. So when the computer asked him to enter his password, he keys in " penis ".
I nearly fell off my chair from laughing so hard when the computer replied:
****PASSWORD REJECTED. TOO SHORT.****

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the department manager.
Upon completion of the test, both men had each missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the first applicant and said,' 'Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant.''
"And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct," asked the rejected applicant.
"We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the department manager.
"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" the rejected applicant inquired.
''Simple,'' said the department manager,' 'Your fellow applicant put down on question #5,' I don't know.' You put down,' Neither do I.'''

Top 12 Rejected Public Holidays
12 Start of Christmas Season Day
11 False Labor Day
10 Make a Move on Your Secretary Day
9 Hallmark Card Day
8 Bring Your Handgun to Work Day
7 Newtsmas
6 Deadbeat Father's Day
5 Bad Hair Day
4 Put Your Daughter To Work Day
3 Doris Day
2 St. Hooter's Day
and the Number 1 Rejected Public Holiday...
1 Hash Wednesday

MORE REJECTED CHILDRENS BOOK TITLES:
1. Juggling Knives is Easy
2. Where to Find the toys in the Oven
3. Where Mommy & Daddy Hide Neat Things
4. Kick, Scream, and Cry to Get What You Want
5. "Whatcha' Doin'" the Wonderful Phrase
6. 101 Games to Play in the Road
7. The Indoor Pool is a Big Potty and the Divingboard is the Flusher
8. Homemade Fireworks using a Bathtub, a Blowdryer, and a Fork
9. POP, goes the Hamster and other fun Microwave Games
10. Arthur Gets Hunted
11. Clifford and the Big and Yellow Semi
12. Monsters Killed Grandpa
13. The hit sequel to "Elvis is your real dad" Mrs.Clause is your real Mom
14. Chicken Poop for the Kid Soul
15. All Guns Squirt Water
16. When The Garbage Truck Came to Sesame Street
17. How Fun it is to Tie a Squirrel to a Kite
18. You Can Get Sucked Down the Drain
19. How to Make Sushi with Ordinary Goldfish
20. 101 recipies to make with Dog
21. If more...

Top 12 Rejected Public Holidays12 Start of Christmas Season Day 11 False Labor Day 10 Make a Move on Your Secretary Day 9 Hallmark Card Day 8 Bring Your Handgun to Work Day7 Newtsmas6 Deadbeat Father's Day 5 Bad Hair Day4 Put Your Daughter To Work Day3 Doris Day2 St. Hooter's Dayand the Number 1 Rejected Public Holiday... 1 Hash Wednesday

MORE REJECTED CHILDRENS BOOK TITLES:1. Juggling Knives is Easy2. Where to Find the toys in the Oven3. Where Mommy & Daddy Hide Neat Things4. Kick, Scream, and Cry to Get What You Want5. "Whatcha' Doin'" the Wonderful Phrase6. 101 Games to Play in the Road7. The Indoor Pool is a Big Potty and the Divingboard is the Flusher8. Homemade Fireworks using a Bathtub, a Blowdryer, and a Fork9. POP, goes the Hamster and other fun Microwave Games10. Arthur Gets Hunted11. Clifford and the Big and Yellow Semi12. Monsters Killed Grandpa13. The hit sequel to "Elvis is your real dad" Mrs.Clause is your real Mom14. Chicken Poop for the Kid Soul15. All Guns Squirt Water16. When The Garbage Truck Came to Sesame Street17. How Fun it is to Tie a Squirrel to a Kite18. You Can Get Sucked Down the Drain19. How to Make Sushi with Ordinary Goldfish20. 101 recipies to make with Dog21. If its Storming out the Best Place to keep shelter is under a tree22. The New Boy is Bad23. Your Nightmares more...

A Schoolmaster from a remote rural area was transferred to a school in Bombay. He reported for duty two days before August 15 and, as was the practice in the school, was asked to address the assembly on Independence Day. Here`s his dynamite speech:
Leddies and Gentulmens,
Contemporaries, Children, "This is my first maiden speech. If small small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask pardon. Stickly
speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following reason. Too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket. I put complaint on station master. He said me to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time and
at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my son. Anyway I thanked the station master because he was responsible
for getting birth of my son.
We got independent because of great leaders linke Gandhiji who get-outted all more...