Registration Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman driver is pulled over by a policeman:
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it four times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see... Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is more...

A Lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Sheriff's Deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the Deputy because he is sure that he has a better education. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy's expense...........

Deputy says, "License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What for?"
Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign "
Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop, thats the law. License and registration, please!"
Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket, if not you let me go and no more...

A police officer pulled over a red Porsche after it had run a stop sign. “May I see your driver’s license and registration please? ” the officer asked.
“What’s the problem, officer? ”
“Your just ran the stop sign back there at the last intersection. ”
“Oh, come on pal, there wasn’t a car within miles of me. ”
“Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a full and complete stop, look both ways, and proceed with caution. ”
“You gotta be kidding me! ”
“It’s no joke, sir. ”
“Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one within twenty miles, and proceeded with caution. ”
“That’s beside the point, sir. You are supposed to come to a full and complete stop, and you didn’t. Now if I may see your license and registration. ”
“You’ve got a lot of time on your hands, PAL! What’s the matter, all the doughnut shops closed? ”
“Sir, I’ll overlook that last comment. Let me see more...

A motorcycle cop had just pulled over a red Porsche after it had run a stop sign. "May I see your driver's license and registration please."

"What's the problem, officer?"


"You just ran that stop sign back there."

"Oh come on, pal, there wasn't a car within miles of me."

"Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a complete stop, look both ways, and proceed with caution."

"You gotta be kidding me!"

"It's no joke, sir."

"Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one within twenty miles, and proceeded with caution."

"That's beside the point, sir. You are supposed come to a complete stop, and you didn't. Now if I may see your license and"

"You've got a lot of time on your hands, pal. What's the matter, all the doughnut shops closed?"

"Sir, I'll overlook more...

NEW YORK - Rapper 50 Cent was arrested in Manhattan on Friday for making an unsafe lane change, driving with an expired permit, driving without insurance and driving without a vehicle registration.
He was let go after a friend showed up with proof that 50 Cent owned the vehicle.... A gold plated, diamond encrusted vehicle registration that was attached to the large bottom of an African American woman, named "shorty", wearing a thong bikini, who happened to be celebrating her birthday at the time....Ya feel me?

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI.

Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the Captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your more...

One sunny day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a red Mitsubishi 3000GT for speeding. He walked up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. Immediately, he was stunned by just how beautiful she was! Probably the most beautiful blonde he'd ever laid eyes on. I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am... could I see your drivers license
and registration please." "...What's a license...???" replied the blonde. Big blue eyes sweetly looking up at him. "Your drivers license is generally in a wallet", replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I see your registration?.." asked the cop. "Registration?... What's that....?" asked the blonde. "It's usually in your glove compartment..." said the cop patiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration. "Thank you Ma'am. I'll be back in a minute..." said the cop and walked back to his patrol more...