Rectum Jokes / Recent Jokes

A FRIEND OF MINE HAS AN 18 YEAR OLD SON NAMED LEROY. HE ATTENDS OAKLAND HIGH SCHOOL WHERE THEY TEACH EBONICS AS A SECOND LANGUAGE. LAST WEEK HE WAS GIVEN AN EASY HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT. ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS PUT EACH OF THE FOLLOWING WORDS IN A SENTENCE. THIS IS WHAT LEROY DID. 1. RECTUM: I HAD TWO CADILLACS, BUT MY OL'LADY RECTUM BOTH. 2. HOTEL: I GAVE MY GIRLFRIEND DA CRABS AND THE HOTEL EVERYBODY. 3. ODYSSEY: I TOLD MY BRO, YOU ODYSSEY THE JUGS ON THIS HOE. 4. STAIN: MY MOTHER-IN-LAW AXED IF I WAS STAIN FOR DINNER AGAIN. 5. SELDOM: MY COUSIN GAVE ME TWO TICKETS TO THE KNICKS GAME, SO I SELDOM. 6. PENIS: I WENT TO DA DOCTOR AND HE HANDED ME A CUP AND SAID PENIS. 7. CATACOMB: DON KING WAS AT THE FIGHT THE OTHER NIGHT, MAN, SOMEBODY GIVE THAT CATACOMB. 8. FORCLOSE: IF I PAY ALIMONY THIS MONTH, I'LL HAVE NO MONEY FORCLOSE. 9. UNDERMINE: THERE IS A FINE LOOKIN' HOE LIVIN' IN THE APARTMENT UNDERMINE. 10. TRIPOLI: I WAS GONNA BUY MY OLD LADY A BRA BUT I COULDN'T FINE NO TRIPOLI. 12. more...

Leroy is an 18 year old ninth grader who is becoming increasingly disillusioned with the public school system.

One day Leroy got an easy homework assignment. All he had to do was put each of the following words in a sentence. This is what Leroy did.

1. HOTEL - I gave my girlfriend da crabs and the HOTEL everybody.

2. RECTUM - I had two Cadillacs, but my ol' lady RECTUM both.

3. DISAPPOINTMENT - My parole officer tol me if I miss DISAPPOINTMENT they gonna send me back to the big house.

4. FORECLOSE - If I pay alimony this month, I'll have no money FORECLOSE.

5. CATACOMB - Don King was at the fight the other night, Man, somebody give that CATACOMB.

6. PENIS - I went to da doctor and he handed me a cup and said PENIS.

7. ISRAEL - Alonso tried to sell me a Rolex, I said Man, that looks fake. He said, No, ISRAEL.

8. UNDERMINE - There is a fine lookin' hoe livin' in the apartment more...

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant.

The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.

"I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we don't have any"

'But I always buy it here," says the blonde.

"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist

"YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant"

Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, "TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."

A game warden came upon a duck hunter who had bagged 3 ducks and decided to “enforce the laws pending. ” He stopped the hunter, flashed his badge and said, “Looks like you’ve had a pretty good day. Mind if I inspect your kill? ”
The hunter shrugged and handed the ducks to the warden. The warden took one of the ducks, inserted his finger into the duck’s rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said, “This here’s a Washington state duck. Do you have a Washington state hunting license? ”
The hunter pulled out his wallet and calmly showed the warden a Washington state hunting license. The warden took a second duck, inserted his finger in the bird’s rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said, “This here’s an Idaho duck. Do you have an Idaho state hunting license? ”
The hunter, a bit put out, produced an Idaho state hunting license. The warden took a third duck, conducted the same finger test, and said, “This here’s an Oregon state duck. Do you more...

THE BODY PARTS MEETINGOne day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge: The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most important and I should be in charge." The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I'm the most important and I should be in charge." The hands said: "Without me we wouldn't be able to pick anything up or move anything. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge." The stomach said: "I turn the food we eat into energy for the rest of you. Without me, we'd starve. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge." The legs said: "Without me we wouldn't be able to move anywhere. I'm the most important and I should be in charge." Then the rectum said: "I think I should be in charge." All the rest of the parts said: YOU?!! You don't do anything! You're not as important as we are, surely! You can't be in more...

Leroy is a 20 year-old 5th grader. This is Leroy's homework assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence.
1. Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tel everybody.
2. Dictate - My girlfriend say my dictate good.
3. Income - I just got in bed wif da ho and income my wife.
4. Foreclose - If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose.
5. Rectum - I had two Cadillacs, but my bitch rectum both.
6. Disappointment - My parole officer tol' me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the joint.
7. Penis - I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said penis.
8. Israel - Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, "man, it look fake." He say, "Bullshit, that watch israel."
9. Undermine - There's a fine lookin' ho living in the apartment undermine.
10. Acoustic - When I was little, my uncle bought me acoustic and took me to the poolhall.
11. Iraq - When we got to the poolhall, I tol' my uncle iraq, more...

Leroy was a 17 year old ninth grader. Leroy got this homework assignment
in his Ebonics class. All he had to do was use each of the following words
in a sentence. The following is how he completed the assignment.
Rectum: I had two Caddilacs but my ol lady rectum.
Hotel: I gave my woman da crabs and da hotel evabody.
Odyssey: I told my bro, man, you odyssey da tits on da hoe.
Stain: My muda-in-law axed me if I'm stain for dinna agin.
Seldom: My cousin give me tickets to da Warriors game so I seldom.
Penis: I went to da docta an he hanned me a cup and said penis.
Foreclose: If I pay alimony dis munf, I'd have no muny foreclose.
Undermine: Dare's a fine lookin hoe livin in da partmunt undermine.
Disappointment: My parole offcer tel me if I miss disappointment he
gonna kill me
Tripoli: I was gonne buy my ol lady a bra but I coudnt find no
Tripoli
Income: I just got in bed wit dis hoe and income my wife
Honor: At da rape trial more...