Recite Jokes / Recent Jokes

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."
The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."

The third said "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100, 000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

The other more...

One day, three men are out having a relaxing day fishing, when suddenly they catch a mermaid. After hauling the mermaid up in a net, she promises that if the men set her free, she will grant each of them a wish in return. The first man doesn't believe it, so he says, "Alright, if you can really grant wishes, then double my IQ." The mermaid says, "Done," and suddenly, the first man starts to flawlessly recite Shakespeare and analyze it with extreme insight.

The second man is so amazed, he looks at the mermaid and says, "Triple my IQ." The mermaid says, "Done," and the second man starts to recite solutions to mathematical problems that have been stumping all of the scientists in various fields from physics to chemistry, etc.

The third man is so enthralled with the changes in his friends, he says to the mermaid, "Quintuple my IQ." The mermaid looks at him and says, "You know, I normally don't try to change more...

Four brothers left home for college and they became
successful doctors and lawyers and prospered.
Some years later, they chatted after having dinner
together. They discussed the gifts they were able
to give their elderly mother who lived in another
city. The first said, "I had a big house built
for Mama."
The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar
theater built in the house." The third said,
"I had a Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to
her."
The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading
the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because
she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told
me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible.
It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I
had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty
years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just
has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will
recite more...

A boy in a 2nd grade class was given an assignment by his teacher.
The assignment read as follows.
"
Pick Four sentences that you hear along the way home and bring them to school tomorrow to recite"
The young boy decided that he will pick his sentences from people on the road.
He walks down a street in the projects and hears a man arguing with his wife- "
shut the fuck up before i kill you"
He writes that sentence down
Then he hears a girl tell a boy on the corner "
who the fuck do you think you are bitch"
He writes that sentence down
Then he sees a group of kids playin a superhero game. He hears ' You know who i am? Superman!!
He writes it down
He hears a couple say "
Yea, Come on baby and lets go have a fuck "
He writes his final sentence down with excitement
The following day at school, his teacher says "
please recite your sentences"
He says "
Shut more...