Recession Jokes

Heard on "60 Minutes" 31 March: (from a National Party Senator in
Queensland whose name escapes me now)
The definition of recession is when your neighbour loses his job.
The definition of depression is when you lose your job.
The definition of recovery is when Paul Keating loses his job.

I have been hit hard by the recession and I am broke. I am so broke that I have broken into my emergency kit and am living off the coffee grinds and canned food. The entire time I am thinking, “Wow, thank God for PTSD, Crazy Uncle Ronnie, and tales of Vietnamese jungle survival.”

Americans are stressed out due to the massive layoffs happening recently. Since the recession started, calls to crisis prevention lines and psychiatric lines are up 30 percent.
America - now you know where the jobs are!

..CNN reports that the recession is even affecting the residents of Beverly Hills....a man was spotted on a street corner playing a gold plated, diamond encrusted Stradivarius for spare change.

The definition of a recession is when your neighbor loses his job. A depression is when you loose yours.