Rare Jokes / Recent Jokes
Dateline, September 3, 2147
Minneapolis -- In a rare view of 20th century life, Cyber Archaeologist Ole Anderson of Minneapolis has discovered an extremely rare throwback to the 20th century: an ancient IP version 4 packet containing HTTP --the primitive method that early Internet builders used to transfer data in what predated our now familiar way of communications.
Anderson is convinced of the packet's authenticity since IP version 4 packets have not been seen on the global network in 115 years.
"When I discovered the packet", says Anderson, "I couldn't believe my eyes. It contained an IP version 4 header which at first I couldn't decipher. Amazingly, the the contents of the packet are in plain text which means that I didn't even have to break the primitive crypto algorithms they had in those days. The packet seems to be directed at what was termed a `web site' and an individual called
A man with a womb a rare medical phenomenon is being treated at the
Kandy General Hospital. The womb, complete with the fallopian tubes
and ovaries, was found in his stomach when he was operated on for
cancer.
The patient, in his early thirties, had been treated for a cancer for
the past one and a half months.' The various tests done had pointed to
a malignancy in the stomach. The treatment had reduced the lump in his
stomach, but it had grown later on. The scan showed a lump in his
stomach,' one doctor said.
'There was no physical abnormality. He was a normal male. He had no
sign of femininity. He had a male organ but no testis. We believe the
testis are in the abdomen area. The testis were pasted to the womb,'
he said.
The patient had been married for around eight years but has no
children.
A gynaecologist, commenting on this rare medical phenomenon said' One
person can develop both organs, more...
A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire, among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued.... and won! In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated, nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable "fire," and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and more...
A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it.
"Not Gutenberg?" gasped the collector.
"Yes, that was it!"
"You idiot! You've thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at an auction for half a million dollars!"
"Oh, I don't think this book would have been worth anything close to that much," replied the man. "It was scribbled all over in the margins by some guy named Martin Luther."
A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of very rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against. .. get this. .. fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in "a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion. The man sued... and won. In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that since the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars against fire, without defining what it considered to be unacceptable fire," it was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted more...
A COLONEL ISSUED THE FOLLOWING DIRECTIVE TO HIS EXECUTIVE OFFICERS: "Tomorrow evening at approximately 2000 hours Halley's Comet will be visible in this area; an event which occurs only every 75 years. Have the men fall out in the battalion area in fatigues, and I will explain this rare phenomenon to them. In case of rain, we will not be able to see anything, so assemble the men in the theater and I will show them films of it." EXECUTIVE OFFICER TO COMPANY COMMANDER: "By order of the Colonel, tomorrow at 2000 hours, Halley's Comet will appear above the battalion area. If it rains, fall the men out in fatigues, then march to the theater where this rare phenomenon will take place, something which occurs only once every 75 years." COMPANY COMMANDER TO LIEUTENANT: "By order of the Colonel be in fatigues at 2000 hours tomorrow evening. The phenomenal Halley's Comet will appear in the theater. In case of rain in the battalion area, the Colonel will give another more...
A COLONEL ISSUED THE FOLLOWING DIRECTIVE TO HIS EXECUTIVE OFFICERS: "Tomorrow evening at approximately 2000 hours Halley's Comet will be visible in this area an event which occurs only every 75 years. Have the men fall out in the battalion area in fatigues, and I will explain this rare phenomenon to them. In case of rain, we will not be able to see anything, so assemble the men in the theater and I will show them films of it." EXECUTIVE OFFICER TO COMPANY COMMANDER: "By order of the Colonel, tomorrow at 2000 hours, Halley's Comet will appear above the battalion area. If it rains, fall the men out in fatigues, then march to the theater where this rare phenomenon will take place, something which occurs only once every 75 years." COMPANY COMMANDER TO LIEUTENANT: "By order of the Colonel be in fatigues at 2000 hours tomorrow evening. The phenomenal Halley's Comet will appear in the theater. In case of rain in the battalion area, the Colonel will give another more...