Quid Jokes

Little Jimmy is at school and the teacher says "your homework is to work out the difference between potential and reality".Jimmy goes home and has no idea, so he asks his dad.His dad thinks about it and tells Jimmy to ask his mum if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million quid.He asks his mum and she says"don't tell your dad, but yes i would for a million quid." Jimmy goes and tells his dad all this and his dad says "Go and ask your little sister if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million quid" he asks his sister and she says "don't tell your dad but yes, i would for a million quid" Jimmy goes and tells his dad this and his dad says "There you go Jimmy, thats the difference between potential and reality.Potentially we're sitting on two million quid, in reality we're living with a couple of slags".

The snooty cricket club received a letter from a village team asking for a fixture.

They agreed, provided that later on in the season the villagers gave them a' quid pro quo'.

Next day, they received another letter: ' We were surprised at your request, but enclosed please find a pound for your pro.'!