Quack Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was this city doctor who started a practice in the countryside. He once had to go to a farm to attend to a sick farmer who lived there. After a few housecalls he stopped coming to the farm.
The puzzled farmer finally phoned him to ask whats the matter, didn't he like him or somethin'.
The doctor replied, "No, its your ducks at the entrance... Every time I enter the farm, they insult me!"

There was this city doctor who started a practice in the countryside. He once had to go to a farm to attend to a sick farmer who lived there. After a few housecalls he stopped coming to the farm.The puzzled farmer finally phoned him to ask whats the matter, didn't he like him or somethin'.The doctor replied, "No, its your ducks at the entrance... Every time I enter the farm, they insult me!"

There was this duck that walked into a bar and sat down in a stool and the bartender said, “Can I help you? ” The duck said, “quack, quack, quack,,, got any raisins? ” The bartender said, “NO! This is a bar and we don’t sell raisins. ” The duck walked out and then he came in the next day and sat in the very same stool! The bartender walked over and asked him if he could help him? The duck said, “quack, quack, quack,,, got any raisins? ”
The bartender said, “NO this is a BAR we don’t sell raisins! ” So the duck walked out again and left. He came back the next day and sat in the same stool once again! The duck yelled at the bartender, “quack, quack, quack, and got any raisins? ” The bartender said, “NO. And if you come back here once more I am going to nail your webbed feet to the ground and you are going to die there.

There was this duck that walked into a bar and sat down in a stool and the bartender said, "can I help you"?
The duck said, "quack quack quack got any raisons?"
The bartender said, "NO! This is a bar and we dont sell raisons."
The duck walked out and then he came in the next day and sat in the very same stool!
The bartender walked over and asked him if he could help him?
The duck said, "quack quack quack got any raisons?"
The bartender said, "NO this is a BAR we dont sell raisons!"
So the duck walked out again and left. He came back the next day and sat in the same stool once again!
The duck yelled at the bartender, "quack quack quack got any raisons?"
The bartender said, "NO. And if you come back here once more I am gonna nail your webbed feet to the ground and you are gonna die there."
The duck said, "ok", and left.
The next day came and sure enuf the duck came more...

Three ducks arrive at the Police station. In deciding why they're here, a police officer goes up to the first duck and says ''What's your name??'' The duck replies ''Quack''. The police officer then asks ''And why are you here ??'' The duck says ''For blowing bubbles in the pond.'' ''Blowing bubbles in the pond! That's illegal! That's a $50.00 fine!!'' The duck agrees to pay the fine.
The police officer goes up to the second duck and says ''What's your name??'' The duck replies ''Quack Quack''. The police officer then asks ''And why are you here??'' The duck says ''For blowing bubbles in the pond.'' ''Blowing bubbles in the pond! That's illegal! That's a $50.00 fine!!'' The duck agrees to pay the fine.
The police officer goes up to the third duck and says ''And your name must be Quack Quack Quack.'' And the duck replies ''No, it's Bubbles.''

Three ducks were in court. The first duck was called up for questioning. The judge said "NAME" and the duck replyed "Quack". Then the judge said "What were you doing?" and the duck replyed "I was blowing bubbles". The judge then said "I cant see any problem with that. OK NEXT". So the next duck came to the stand "NAME" and the duck agen replyed "Quack. The judge again said "What were you doing?" and the duck replyed "I was blowing bubbles. The judge then agreed that there wasnt a problem and shouted next. The duck climbed to the stand. The judge said name and the duck said "Bubbles"!

A duck's quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.