Puerto Jokes / Recent Jokes

what do you call a puerto rican in a three piece suit? defendent

Q: When does a Puerto Rican become a Spaniard?
A: When he marries your daughter.

Whats the national anthem of Puerto Rico?"Attention K-Mart shoppers..."

Having just returned from a brief visit to Puerto Rico, I must report how well the mixed english/metric system has made live easier on the island.
All speed limits are posted in Miles Per Hour
All distances on the highway are posted in Kilometers
(however short distances are posted in feet & inches)
Therefore it is normal to see the following three signs next to each other:
SPEED
LIMIT55
MPH
PONCE
55 KMSAN JUAN
285 KM
MAXIMUM
CLEARANCE
12'6"
Just think how this must translate to one of the old common math problems assigned in school:
Train A (comprised of an engine, 22 box cars and a caboose) leaves San Juan at 12 noon south-bound for Ponce.
Train B (comprised of an engine, 16 box cars and a caboose) leaves Ponce 15 minutes later north-bound for San Juan.
There is only one stretch of double track where the trains may pass safely. This starts 100KM south of San Juan and is 2.5KM long.
It is 230KM from San Juan more...

Rosie Perez's new film about her family and the history of Puerto Rico will air on the IFC network. The title of the film is, "Yo soy Boriqua, Pa' que lo Sepas!"

Translation: I'm Puerto Rican, so you know!
Wow! Now that's an eye-opener! Who knew that she would turn out to be Puerto Rican. I just thought she was the greatest Swedish actress in the world.
Other documentaries in the works:
With Barry Bonds, "I'm a Baseball Player, I Took Steroids, so you Know!"
With Michael Jackson, "I'm a Singer, I Really like Kids, so you Know!"
With George W. Bush, "I'm the President, so I Think!"

Three men, a fat man, a Russian, and a Puerto Rican, are standing on a bridge. The Russian removes a bottle of vodka from his coat, takes a sip, and then throws the bottle over the bridge.
The Puerto Rican asks, "Why did you do that? That was perfectly good bottle of vodka!"
The Russian replies, "There's plenty of that where I come from."
The Puerto Rican doesn't want to be upstaged, so he removes a joint from his pocket, takes a long puff, and then throws the rest of it over the bridge.
The fat man exclaims, "Hey! What the hell did you do that for? That was a perfectly good joint!"
The Puerto Rican replies, "There's plenty of that where I come from."
Now, the fat man doesn't want to be upstaged, so he searches through his pockets but he can't find anything. He looks around for a moment, then rips off his stomach and throws it over the bridge.
The Russian exclaims, "What the hell did you do that for? Thats more...

What's the national anthem of Puerto Rico?"Attention K-Mart shoppers..."