Print Jokes / Recent Jokes
The small print takes away what the big print grants!
A young man graduated from the University of Alabama with a degree in journalism. His first assignment for the newspaper that hired him was to write a human interest story. Being from Alabama, he went back to the country to do his research.
He went to an old farmer's house way back in the hills, introduced himself to the farmer, and proceeded to explain to him why he was there. The young man asked, "Has anything ever happened around here that made you happy?"
The farmer thought for a minute and said, "Yep! One time one of my neighbor's sheep got lost. We formed a posse and found it. We all screwed it, then took it home."
"I can't print that!" the young man exclaimed. "Can you think of anything else that happened that made you or a lot of other people happy?"
After another moment, the farmer said, "Yep! One time my neighbor's daughter, a real good lookin' gal, got lost. We formed a big posse that time and found her. After we more...
When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this, but this is not necessary to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball! It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out more...
Software Learning Process
Hello World.......
High School/Jr. High
===================
10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
20 END
First year in College
=====================
program Hello(input, output)
begin
writeln('Hello World')
end.
Senior year in College
======================
(defun hello
(print
(cons' Hello (list' World))))
New professional
================
#include
void main(void)
char *message[] = {"Hello ", "World"};
int i;
for(i = 0; i < 2; ++i)
printf("%s", message[i]);
printf("
");
}
Seasoned professional
=====================
#include
#include
class string
private:
int size;
char *ptr;
public:
string(): size(0), ptr(new char(' ')) {}
string(const more...
Bill Gates was in India a few days ago.
He announced that Microsoft plans to release a windows2000
version in Hindi. Here are some Windows related terms
that may be used in the Hindi version of...
Windows 2000: Khirkiyan 2000
File - Phaail
Save - Bachao
Save as - Aise Bachao
Save All - Subko Bachao
Help - Mujhe Bachao
Select - Chuno
Select All - Sab Chuno
Find - Dhoondo
Find Again - Firse Dhoondo
Move - Hilao
Mail - Dak
Mailer - Dakiya
Zoom - Paas se dhekho
Zoom Out - Dhoor se dhekho
Open - Kholo
Close - Band Karo
New - Naya
Replace - Badli Karo
Run - Bhaago
Print - Chaapo
Print Preview - Dekh Ke Chaapo
Copy - Teepo
Cut - Kaato
Paste - Chipkao
Paste Special - Jayada Chipkao
Delete - Dho dalo
View - Nazaara
Tools - Auzaar
Toolbar - Auzaar ka dabba
Spreadsheet - Khuli Chaadar
Database - Bahi more...
High school/Jr. High
10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
20 END
First year in college
program Hello(input, output);
begin
writeln ('Hello world');
end
Senior year in college
(defun hello
(print
(cons 'HELLO (list 'WORLD))))
New professional
#include
main (argc, argv)
int argc;
char **argv; {
printf ("Hello World!
");
}
Seasoned pro
#include
const int MAXLEN = 80;
class outstring;
class outstring {
private:
int size;
char str[MAXLEN];
public:
outstring() { size=0; }
~outstring() {size=0;}
void print();
void assign(char *chrs);
};
void outstring::print() {
int i;
for (i=0; i< size; i++)
cout " . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg:
$!
";
print (FILE $msg);
close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!
";
}
} else {
print ($msg);
}
1;
Experienced more...