Presidential Jokes / Recent Jokes

This is the FBI summary of a conversation that took place this week between President Clinton and Kimberly, a brand new intern in the White House. Kimberly walked into the White House for her first day of her internship and was greeted by the President.

After a short tour of the White House the President asked' How would you like to see the Presidential Clock?' Kimberly looked troubled and said' I don't know Mr. President. I have heard some pretty bad things about you. I don't think that would be a good idea.'

'Nonsense' said the President.' It's just a clock.' Kimberly agreed and the President lead her into the Oval Office where they were alone. He closed the door, dropped his pants, and pulled it out.

Kimberly gasped.' Oh that's not the Presidential Clock, that's the Presidential Cock!'

To which the President responded:' Kimberly honey, you put a face and two hands on it and its a clock!'

The Clinton Presidential Anthem - Kneel to the Chief.

Top ten names for Ben & Jerry's new Presidential ice cream:
10. Impeach-Mint
9. Candy Pants
8. Hyperactive Nuts
7. Chilly Hillbilly Vanilla
6. Pantsachio
5. Subpoena Colada
4. Horny Bubba Crunch
3. Peppermint Fattie
2. Draft-Dodging Pot-Smoking Intern-Nailing Raspberry Swirl
And the #1 name for the new Presidential flavor...
1. Captain Cream

What's the difference between Bill Clinton and the Titanic?
Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.
What's the new game they're playing in the White House?
Swallow the Leader.
What does Monica Lewinsky have on her Resume?
"Sat on the Presidential Staff"
In a survey of American women, when asked, "Would you sleep with President Clinton", 86% replied, "Not again"
What's the new press name for the latest Presidential scandal?
Hornigate.
Most people get AIDS from sex;
But President Clinton gets sex from aides.
President Clinton: "I didn't say to lie in the deposition!
I said lie in that position!"
The price of oil has skyrocketed; rumor has it that the President is drilling in the White House again.
The latest on Zippergate President Clinton's name has been recently identified with the UNABANGER.
Did you hear that they renamed one of the offices in the White House as the Oral Office?

Question: How many Republic presidential candidates from 2000 did it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: It doesn't matter whether the bulb is changed or not; it only matters that the new bulb was made in the US of A. Taiwan and South Korea have put up massive barriers to importing US light bulbs; we'll see how they like it when their bulbs cost $10, 000 to screw in here.

Q: How many presidential campaign staff does it need to change a light bulb?
A: 220! One to write a speech about how good it will be when the bulb is actually changed, one to write a speech about why the other candidates can't even spell "lightbulbe", eighteen to find out what the other candidates did when the lightbulb failed, and another two hundred to find out what the other candidate's families think about lightbulbs, bulbs, pear-shaped objects, light in general, any form of energy.

Q: How many presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Less and less all the time.