Preacher Jokes / Recent Jokes

An young lady inherited a very beautiful parrot when her Aunt died. The girl was surprised to find out that her Aunt had been a very successful Madam and was well known for her sexual appetite. When she got the bird home she soon learned that the bird had quite a vocabulary and that she ended each string of words with the phrase, "I'm a whore." Well the girl was engaged to the son of a preacher and knew that she couldn't keep the bird around once she got married so she discussed the situation with her soon to be husband, after giving the situation some thought he brought the problem to his father. The preacher informed the son that he had a couple of little old ladies in his congregation who also had parrots and that these particular birds spent all of their time in prayer. He called the old ladies and explained the situation. The old ladies invited him to bring the bird to them and felt sure that the naughty bird would benefit from the exposure to the Holy birds. Soon the more...

A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently came upon a farmer working in his field. Being concerned about the farmer's soul the preacher asked the man, "Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord my good man?"Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his work the farmer replied, "Naw, these are soybeans.""You don't understand," said the preacher. "Are you a Christian?"With the same amount of interest as his previous answer the farmer said, "Nope my name is Jones. You must be lookin for Jim Christian. He lives a mile south of here."The young determined preacher tried again asking the farmer, "Are you lost?""Naw! I've lived here all my life," answered the farmer."Are you prepared for the resurrection?" the frustrated preacher asked. This caught the farmer's attention and he asked, "When's it gonna be?"Thinking he had accomplished something the young preacher replied, "It could more...

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.
He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."
A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling
them dam fish.
The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they`re
dam fish."
The preacher bought some, took them home and asked
his wife to cook the dam fish.
His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said,
"Preachers aren`t supposed to talk like that."
The preacher explained why they were dam fish,
and she agreed to cook them.
When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down,
the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.
His son replied,
"That`s the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!"

An old couple were sitting in their living room on a Sunday morning watching a religious program.
The preacher on this show would go to all the people in the audience and asking them what they wanted fixed, then he would have them cover the part of their body they wanted fixed.
Many of the people were elderly so they were covering their eyes and hearts. Then the preacher said "Ok now for you at home put your hand on the part of your body you want fixed and say this prayer with me."
So the little old lady put her hand on her heart, because she had a very bad heart. And the little old man put his hands on his crotch.
The little old lady turned to her husband and said "He said he could heal the sick, not raise the dead!"

The angry preacher The angry preacher...
The preacher rose with a red face. "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the K. K. K. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family!"
No one moved.
The preacher continued, " Do you not have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood. Remember, you will be forgiven and in our heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression!"
Again all was quiet.
Slowly a "drop dead" gorgeous blonde with a body that would not stop rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke.
"Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Klu Klux Klan. I told a couple of friends you were a wizard under the more...

A preacher and a boy are sitting down when the boy asks him a question. he asks "preacher, is god black or white?".
the preacher decides to tease him and replys
"both". then the boy asks if he is gay or straight and gets the answer of both. then he asks, "preacher, is Micheal Jackson god?"

An old couple were sitting in their living room on a Sunday morning watching a religious program.The preacher on this show would go to all the people in the audience and asking them what they wanted fixed, then he would have them cover the part of their body they wanted fixed.Many of the people were elderly so they were covering their eyes and hearts. Then the preacher said "Ok now for you at home put your hand on the part of your body you want fixed and say this prayer with me."So the little old lady put her hand on her heart, because she had a very bad heart. And the little old man put his hands on his crotch.The little old lady turned to her husband and said "He said he could heal the sick, not raise the dead!"