Post Jokes / Recent Jokes

Getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1, 3311 to change the light bulb and to post on the mailing list that the light bulb has been changed. 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently. 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs. 27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs. 53 to flame the spell checkers. 156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list. 41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames. 109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt. lite. bulb203 to demand that cross posting to alt. grammar, alt. spelling and alt. punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped. 111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to more...

Post a message asking how to post messages.Lead a tireless crusade for the creation of newsgroups with silly names like alt.my.butt.is.hairy.Put 4 addresses, 5 lines of "Geek Code", 6 ASCII-art bicycles, a PGP key, and your home phone in your signature.Post recipes on rec.pets.cats.Post a compendium of old articles from a thread that died months ago with a title such as "** HAS JOE SMITH FORGOTTEN HIS LIES? **"Post a 56-part binary MPG file of your dog throwing up to news.answers. Announce that you screwed it up and repeat.Ask readers of rec.music.misc to post their favorite Zeppelin tune "for a poll".Reacquaint the readers of rec.humor with the "two-strings-go-in-a-bar" joke.Determine a perversion so bizarre or obscure that it doesn't yet have its own sex group.Post your new "War Heroes of India" FAQ to soc.culture.pakistan.Start this week's new AOL virus rumor.Post elaborate conspiracy theories to talk.politics.misc detailing how ATF more...

What's the difference between an injured elephant and bad weather? One roars with pain and the other pours with rain! What's the difference between an elephant and a post box? I don't know! Well I'm not asking you to post my letters! What's the difference between an elephant and a bad pupil? One rarely bites and the other barely writes! How to you tell the difference between an elephant and a mouse? Try picking them up! What's the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper? You can't make a paper aeroplane out of an elephant! What's the difference between an elephant and a banana? Have you ever tried to peel an elephant? What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 3, 000 miles! What's the difference between an elephant and a gooseberry? A gooseberry is green!

He went to the post office to pick up a job application. He got in line at about 2:50 PM. By the time he got to the counter it was 3:05. He asked the clerk for a job application. She told him the employment office was only open from 1:00 to 3:00.
He told her he had been in line since before 3:00 and he only wanted to pick up an application. She repeated through gritted teeth that the employment office was only open from 1:00 to 3:00.
He told her, "Listen all I want is an application. I don't care if you hire me or not. I'd like an application and by law you have to give one to me."
She glared at him, went in the back room, came back with the application and threw it across the counter at him. As he picked it up and was leaving, he said to her, "No wonder you guys shoot each other."

Thou shall love thy BBS with all thy heart and all thy bytes.
Thou shalt remember thy name and password.
Thou shalt only call a BBS two times a day.
Honor thy SysOp.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's password, nor his or her real name, computer, software, nor any other thing belonging to him or her.
Thou shalt not post messages that are stupid, worthless, or have no meaning.
Thou shalt use the English language properly.
Thou shalt spell thy words correctly when ever possible.
Thou shalt delete thine olden messages.
Thou shalt help other users.
Thou shalt not post anonymously when offering criticism.
Thou shalt keep thy foul language to thyself.
Woe be unto the user who attempt to crash thy BBS, for he or she shalt be cast out from the sanctuary of thy hobby and must repent by doing 40 days and 40 nights of penance of voice-only communications.
Thou shalt first dial BBS numbers during the day by way of voice line to assure correct more...

Thou shall love thy BBS with all thy heart and all thy bytes. Thou shalt remember thy name and password. Thou shalt only call a BBS two times a day. Honor thy SysOp. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's password, nor his or her real name, computer, software, nor any other thing belonging to him or her. Thou shalt not post messages that are stupid, worthless, or have no meaning. Thou shalt use the English language properly. Thou shalt spell thy words correctly when ever possible. Thou shalt delete thine olden messages. Thou shalt help other users. Thou shalt not post anonymously when offering criticism. Thou shalt keep thy foul language to thyself. Woe be unto the user who attempt to crash thy BBS, for he or she shalt be cast out from the sanctuary of thy hobby and must repent by doing 40 days and 40 nights of penance of voice-only communications. Thou shalt first dial BBS numbers during the day by way of voice line to assure correct numbers. Thou shalt not post messages while drunk. more...