Politicians Jokes / Recent Jokes
A bus filled with politicians was driving through thecountryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control andcrashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash andrushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicianshe buries them. The next day, the police come to the farm to question theman. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the policeofficer. "Were they all dead?" The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but youknow how politicians lie."
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road when all of a sudden the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer after seeing what happened went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.
A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and then asked the old farmer, "Were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the farmer where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer said he had buried them. The sheriff then asked the old farmer, "Were they ALL dead?" The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in our Santa's field. Santa, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate.
A few days later, local cops came out looking for the missing politicians, saw the crashed bus, and asked Santa where all the politicians had gone.
Santa said, "I buried them all... out back."
Inspector asked, "Were they ALL dead?"
Santa replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how the politicians lie."
Degrees (Fahrenheit)
* 65 degrees:
Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night
* 60 degrees:
Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)
* 50 degrees:
Miami residents turn on the heat
* 45 degrees:
Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts
* 40 degrees:
You can see your breath
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Minnesotans go swimming
* 35 degrees:
Italian cars don't start
* 32 degrees:
Water freezes
* 30 degrees:
You plan your vacation to Australia
* 25 degrees:
Ohio water freezes
Californians weep pitiably
Minnesotans eat ice cream
Canadians go swimming
* 20 degrees:
Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
New York City water freezes
Miami residents plan vacation further South
* 15 degrees:
French cars don't start
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
* 10 degrees:
You need jumper cables to get the car going
* 5 degrees:
American cars more...
Five surgeons are discussing who has the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are definitely the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the arse are interchangeable!"
Politicians accidentA bus load of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field.Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?"The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."