Policeman Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Indian comes to Lahore for a visit. After some time he starts comparing Lahore to Dehli and marvels at the cleanliness and neatness of the city. One day, while walking around the city, he suddenly feels intense pressure to take a leak. However, seeing how tidy it is around him, he is somewhat hesitant to go and relieve himself out in the open as he would back home. Soon he spots a policeman and asks him where to help him out.
The policeman replies, ``See the building there. You can relieve yourself anywhere in the compound there.``
The Indian does his thing and returns to thank the policeman.
He asks the cop, ``Is that the public loo?`` ``No,`` the policeman answers, ``that is the Indian High Commission.``
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his PROFILE." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best ans wer you can come up with?" Extremely frustrated at this more...
While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man, and would not ever dream of questioning the pope''s authority. So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back.
They were traveling down the road doing between 70 and 80 mph, when a policeman happened to see them. As he pulled them over, he called in to headquarters reporting a speeding limo, with a VIP inside it.
The chief asked: "Who is in the limo'', the mayor?" The policeman told him: "No, someone more important than the mayor."
Then the chief asked "Is it the governor?" The policeman answered: "No, someone more important than the governor."
The chief finally asked: "Is it the President?" The policeman answered: "No, someone even more important than the President."
This made the chief very angry and he bellowed: more...
A man was recently flying to New York. He decided to strike up a conversation with his seat mate." I've got a great policeman joke. Would you like to hear it?" "I should let you know first that I am a policeman." "That's OK. I'll tell it really slow!"
The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole. Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness. "Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?" inquired the officer. "Mister," exclaimed the telephone lineman, "I was at the top of the pole!"