Pleased Jokes / Recent Jokes

A gorilla was walking thru' a jungle when he came across a deer eating grasses in a clearing. The gorilla roared,' Who's the king of the jungle?', and the deer replied,' Oh, you are, Master.'The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. Again, he roared,'Who's the king of the jungle?', of course, the zebra replied,' You are, master.'The gorilla walked of pleased. Then he came across an elephant.' Who's the king of the jungle?', he roared again, at the elephant. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him. The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said,' Ok, ok, there's no need to get mad just because you don't know the answer!'

And Adam said,' 'Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me.''

And God said,' 'No problem! I will create a companion for you that will bewith you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself.''

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said,' 'But Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and all the good names are taken and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.''

And God said,' 'No problem! Because I have created this new more...

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"
Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here & it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever & who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are & will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam & he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."
And more...

Two nude statues (one male and one female) had been standing in the middle of a beautiful park for 99 years. On their 100th anniversary in the park an angel came down from heaven to talk to the statues. He said to them, "God has been watching you for the past 100 years and has been very pleased with the two of you. So pleased in fact that he has decided to grant you a wish of becoming human for a short time." The angel then went on to say that they would be human for fifteen minutes and will finally be able to pleasure themselves in a manner in which they have only fantasized about for the last 100 years. The statues were so excited they could hardly believe it. The second they became human they ran off together behind the bushes. The angel heard the rustling of the bushes and shouts of joy and laughter. After 10 minutes the statues returned from behind the bushes sweating and laughing. The angel told the statues that they still had 5 more minutes. The male statue quickly more...

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth" even when you don't know anything.

The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."

The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, "Then come give your FATHER a big hug!"

A gorilla was walking thru’ a jungle when he came across a deer eating grasses in a clearing. The gorilla roared, ‘Who’s the king of the jungle? ’, and the deer replied, ‘Oh, you are, Master. ’
The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. Again, he roared, ’Who’s the king of the jungle? ’, of course, the zebra replied, ‘You are, master. ’
The gorilla walked of pleased. Then he came across an elephant. ‘Who’s the king of the jungle? ’, he roared again, at the elephant. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him.
The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, ‘Ok, ok, there’s no need to get mad just because you don’t know the answer! ’

At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your real father a big hug."