Plates Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather and while eating the breakfast of eggs and bacon prepared for him, he noticed a film-like substance on his plate. So he says, "Grandfather, are these plates clean?"
His grandfather replies, "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal".
That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed many little black specks around the edge of his plate, so again he asked, "Grandfather are you sure these plates are clean"?
Without looking up from his burger, the grandfather says, " I told you those dishes are as clean as coldwater can get them, now don't ask me about it anymore".
Well, later that day, they were on their way out to get dinner. As he was leaving the house, grandfather's dog who was lying on the floor started to growl and would not let him pass.
"Grandfather, your dog won't let me more...

Michigan's Secretary of State is under fire for recalling a "vanity" auto license plate that was deemed offensive.
The plate reads "4 RU486", a reference to the "French" abortion-inducing drug. Critics of the action point out that other vanity plates which could be considered offensive, such as CAL-GIRL, GSPOT, HORNY, HUMP, I124Q, JUGS and NADS, have not been recalled.
Then there's Theresa Watt; she's had her name on her plate for 20 years: TWATT.
A state spokeswoman said that 4 RU486 was recalled under the "illegal activity or substance" portion of the license plate law, but the critics retort that neither RU486 nor abortion is illegal. (AP)
... Nor is it illegal to be horny, to have a G-spot.

After four long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking, as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is some of danger involved.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:
1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
Here comes the important part:
4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the more...

A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded rural area of the state he lived in. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon. He noticed a filmlike substance on his plate and he questioned his grandfather: "Are these plates clean?" His grandfather replied, "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal." That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed tiny specks around the edge of his plate, and a substance that looked like dried egg yolks. So he asked again, "Are you sure these plates are clean?" Without looking up from his hamburger, the grandfather says, "I told you before; those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't ask me about it anymore!" Later that afternoon, he was on his way out to get dinner in a nearby town. As he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to more...

True story
Amdon the short guy with a biggg nose
This happened during a visit in another city
Amdon and two of his friends went to another city by train
Other two went to the caffetaria take away sandwiches
after some time one guy ask Amdon to return the plates
and bring bottle of mineral water to the deposit
Amdon retuned the plates and ask water bottle for the
deposit the girl who in the caffetaria.
There was no deposit for the plates Amdon faced to very
big problem.

They reached to the hostel Amdon ask from where can I take a
bath. others tald him go downstairs Amdon went with towel
other things. Room is in the 11 th floor Amdon was very lucky
lift also not working. More than 15 minuts went hear & there
to locate the bath room. and ask from one unknown person
he told him go & ask from the person who send you.
These are two stories about Amdon in Ukraine. Later we'll
send you story about more...