Pittsburg Jokes

A guy with a black eye boards a plane bound for Pittsburg and immediately notices that the guy seated next to him has a black eye as well. "What a coincidence," he says to him. "We both have a black eye. Mind if I ask how you got yours?"
"Well, it just sort of happened," the second guy answers. "It was merely a Freudian slip. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the biggest breasts I've ever seen was behind the counter. Instead of saying I'd like a ticket to Pittsburg, I said I'd like a ticket to Titsburgh. That's when she socked me one."
"Mine was merely a Freudian slip too," replies the first guy. "I was at the breakfast table and wanted to say to my wife, 'Please pour me a bowl of cereal'. Accidentally I said, 'You ruined my life you fucking bitch'."

There were three priests in a railroad station, all wanting to go home
to Pittsburg. Behind the ticket counter was a very, very shapely lass.
Well endowed, gorgeous, amazing. The priests were all in embarrassing new territory, so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets.
The first priest approached the window. "Young lady," he began, "I would like three pickets to titsburg..." Whereupon he completely lost his composure and fled.
The second priest approached. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburg," he began, "and I would like the change in nipples and dimes." So of course he also fled.
Then came the third. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburg, and I would like the change in nickels and dimes. And I must say," he continued, "if you insist on dressing like that, when you get to the pearly gates, St. Finger's going to shake his peter at you!"

There were three priests in a railroad station, all wanting to go hometo Pittsburg. Behind the ticket counter was a very, very shapely lass. Well endowed, gorgeous, amazing. The priests were all in embarrassing new territory, so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets. The first priest approached the window. "Young lady," he began, "I would like three pickets to titsburg..." Whereupon he completely lost his composure and fled. The second priest approached. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburg," he began, "and I would like the change in nipples and dimes." So of course he also fled. Then came the third. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburg, and I would like the change in nickels and dimes. And I must say," he continued, "if you insist on dressing like that, when you get to the pearly gates, St. Finger's going to shake his peter at you!"

There were three priests in a railroad station, all wanting to go hometo Pittsburg. Behind the ticket counter was a very, very shapely lass.Well endowed, gorgeous, amazing. The priests were all in embarrassing new territory, so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets.The first priest approached the window. "Young lady," he began, "I would like three pickets to titsburg..." Whereupon he completely lost his composure and fled.The second priest approached. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburg," he began, "and I would like the change in nipples and dimes." So of course he also fled.Then came the third. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburg, and I would like the change in nickels and dimes. And I must say," he continued, "if you insist on dressing like that, when you get to the pearly gates, St. Finger's going to shake his peter at you!"

The Freudian Slip Ted and John are setting in the bar and John asked Ted if he bought the train tickets to go see the Steelers game this weekend. Ted says yea and kinda looked a little funny. John said is there anything wrong? Ted said naw, everythings OK. They take a few more sips of beer and Ted ask John if he had ever embarrassed himself by saying something he didnít mean to say. John said sure, it happens to everyone. Ted said thereís a name for that isnít there... you know, where you accidently use the wrong words when you are trying to say something. Yea, says John, itís called a Freudian slip. Yea, thats it said Ted, I couldnít think of the word. Why are you asking said John? Well, yesterday I went to the train station to get the train tickets for Pittsburg, and the girl selling tickets has this incredible set of jugs. I pulled out the money and laid it on the counter and asked her to give me two pickets to Titsburg and then had to embarrassingly say I mean two tickets to more...