Pit Jokes / Recent Jokes
December 1st
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols. .. feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty Lewis - Human Resources Director
December 2nd
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas more...
A little boy and girl where sitting in the sand pit naked. The little girl looks down at the boy and points to his penis and says "What's that?".
"I don't know" says the little boy. He to looks down at the little girl and asks "What's that?"
"I don't know." Says the little girl.
They both went home later on and the little girl says to her mum. "Mummy, what's this?"
The mother replies, "That's your pink garage, and no red Ferrari is allowed to park in there."
The little boy gets home and goes up to his dad and says, "Daddy, what's this?"
The father replies "Why that's your red Ferrari and you can park it in as many pink garage's as you feel like."
The next day the little girl and boy were playing in the sand pit naked again and the little girl ask the little boy "What's that?"
And the little boy says "This is my red Ferrari and I can park it in as many more...
Question and answer Clinton jokes
Q: How do you break a Bill Clinton supporter`s finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.
Q: What does Jeffrey Dahmer`s victims and The Clintons` hair styles have in common?
A: They both look like the work of a butcher.
Q: If The Clinton`s were younger, do you think they would have known the Clampents?
A: Possibly, Bill might have made Jethro`s acquaintance in the 6th grade.
Q: Why doesn`t Hillary cut Bill`s hair?
A: He won`t pay her $300.
Q: What are the two worst things about Bill Clinton?
A: His face.
Q: What is the Arkansas state flower?
A: Gennifer.
Q: Know how to solve the Serbian/Bosnian problem in less than 48 hours?
A: Put Janet Reno in charge.
Q: What`s the difference between a Bill Clinton and a carp?
A: One`s a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other`s a fish.
Q: What`s the difference between Hillary Clinton and a more...
Q: Whats the difference between Hillary Clinton and a pit bull? A: The pit bull doesnt carry a briefcase.
A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof so he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla Removers". He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The gorilla remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull. "What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks. "I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this baseball bat." "When the gorilla falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."
He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
"If the gorilla knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog!"
Q: What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and a pit bull? A: The pit bull doesn't carry a briefcase.
Q: What's the difference between a soprano and a pit bull?
A: Jewelry.