Pissing Jokes

One day Bill Clinton and Al Gore are pissing in the same bathroom. Bill notices that Al has a huge dick. "Shit", he says; "how did you ever make your dick that big?"
"Well", Al tells him, "Every night before I go to bed, I beat it on the bedpost fifty times. This also works wonders before sex..."
So, that night, Clinton sneaks in late, and starts beating the bedpost with his dick. Hillary rolls over and says "Is that you, Al?"

1. EXCITABLE TYPE: Pants are twisted, can't find fly, rips pants in anger.
2. SOCIAL TYPE: Joins pals for a piss whether he wants to or not.
3. TIMID TYPE: Cannot piss if anyone is watching, in later.
4. NOISY TYPE: Whistles loudly while pissing, peeps over partition to take a look at other fellows'.
5. INDIFFERENT TYPE: All urinals occupied, pisses in the sink.
6. CLEVER TYPE: Pisses without holding tool in the hand, shows off by adjusting tie.
7. VAIN TYPE: Undoes five buttons to take out his tool when only two would do.
8. INTELLECTUAL TYPE: Opens vest, takes out tie and pisses in his pants.
9. ABSENT MINDED TYPE: Not quite sure what he has been upto lately, makes a furtive examination of his tool while pissing.
10. DISGUSTED TYPE: Stands for a while, farts, tries to piss but fails, farts again and stalks away muttering.
11. SNEAKY TYPE: Drops a silent fart while pissing, sniffs air and looks on the bloke on the left and more...

One day this man was gonna shoot his bee-bee gun, but first he had
to make a cake for his sons. Finally he was done, and the boys
came down to eat the cake. When they were done they went back
upstairs to play. Just before the father was about to go outside
the youngest son came down and said,"Dad, I'm pissing out bee-bees!"
The dad said,"That's alright." The son went back upstairs. The
middle son came down and again said I'm pisssing out bee-bees!
Again the dad replied, That's alright. Then the oldest son came
and the father said, "I know, I know, you're pissing out bee-bees."
No, I was playing with myself and shot the dog.

One day three brother's are down in the basement playing. They come across a carton of BB's that went along with their father's old Red Rider BB Gun. Since their father had the BB Gun locked away upstairs, they decided to just put the BB's in their mouths and spit them at each other. They were having a pretty fun time, but every once in a while they would each swallow a few while they were running and romping around. Pretty soon they moved on to other activities and cleaned up the remainder of the BB's. After a few hours, one of the boys runs from the bathroom to his mother screaming, "MOMMY, MOMMY, I'M PISSING BB's." Confused, his mother sends him to his room to lay down for a while. A few minutes later, the second of the brother's run's out of the bathroom screaming, "MOMMY, MOMMY, I'M PISSING BB's." Perplexed, the mother sends the second boy to his room also. She sits a few minutes while she plans what to ask her two sons about the matter. Then, the third more...

Absent Minded: Opens his vest, pulls out his tie, and pisses in his pants. Clever: Uses no hands, shows off by fixing tie with both hands, looks around for admiration, and sometimes ends up pissing on the floor and onto his shoes. Cross-eyed: Looks into urinal on the left, pisses into the one in the center, and flushes the one on the right. Desperate: Waits in a long time, teeth floating and feet shuffling. Starts to piss as he walks up to urinal but before he can unzip himself. Lets out a long groan and grunt as he finally gets to relieve himself. Disgruntled: Stands for a while, grunts, gives up, and walks away. Drunk: Holds left thumb in right hand and pisses into his pants. Easily induced: Any thought, mention, sight, or slosh of a liquid, from sipping coffee to a runny nose, causes bladder to immediately signal full condition. Efficient: Waits until he has to crap, then does both at once. Erect: Either because his bladder is full or he just saw a sexy woman, his penis is so erect more...