Pisses Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. EXCITABLE TYPE: Pants are twisted, can't find fly, rips pants in anger.
2. SOCIAL TYPE: Joins pals for a piss whether he wants to or not.
3. TIMID TYPE: Cannot piss if anyone is watching, in later.
4. NOISY TYPE: Whistles loudly while pissing, peeps over partition to take a look at other fellows'.
5. INDIFFERENT TYPE: All urinals occupied, pisses in the sink.
6. CLEVER TYPE: Pisses without holding tool in the hand, shows off by adjusting tie.
7. VAIN TYPE: Undoes five buttons to take out his tool when only two would do.
8. INTELLECTUAL TYPE: Opens vest, takes out tie and pisses in his pants.
9. ABSENT MINDED TYPE: Not quite sure what he has been upto lately, makes a furtive examination of his tool while pissing.
10. DISGUSTED TYPE: Stands for a while, farts, tries to piss but fails, farts again and stalks away muttering.
11. SNEAKY TYPE: Drops a silent fart while pissing, sniffs air and looks on the bloke on the left and more...

A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a
bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes
a genie.

The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I
will grant you one wish, anything that you want."

The Russian begins thinking, "Well I really like drinking
vodka." Finally the Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka
whenever I want, so make me piss vodka."

The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home
he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He
looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks like vodka. Then he
smells the liquid. Smells like vodka. So he takes a test and
it is the best vodka
that he has ever tasted.

The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, Natasha, come
quickly."

She comes running down the hall and the Russian takes
another glass out of the cupboard and more...

A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. He drinks the beer, then stands on the bar, drops his pants and pisses all over the place. The bar tender freaks out. "You dirty disgusting pig! How dare you come into my bar and urinate! I'll beat the shit out of you..."The man begins crying. "I'm sorry! Its ruining my life. I can't sleep. I do it every time I have a drink! It's worrying me to death, please don't hit me..."The bar tender takes pity. "Look, I have a brother who is a psychiatrist, here's his card, why don't you see him?" The man hugs the bartender, shakes his hand and leaves with a thousand thank yous... Six months later, the man walks into the bar, and orders a drink. The bartender says, "Okay, here you go... Wait! Weren't you that guy who.." "Yes, And I went and saw your brother. He is fantastic, I am completely cured." "Well, that's great. This beer is on the house." So the man drinks the beer, stands on the bar, more...

A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. He drinks the beer, then stands on the bar, drops his pants and pisses all over the place.
The bar tender freaks out. "You dirty disgusting pig! How dare you come into my bar and urinate! I'll beat the shit out of you..."
The man begins crying. "I'm sorry! Its ruining my life. I can't sleep. I do it every time I have a drink! It's worrying me to death, please don't hit me..."
The bar tender takes pity. "Look, I have a brother who is a psychiatrist, here's his card, why don't you see him?"
The man hugs the bartender, shakes his hand and leaves with a thousand thank yous...
Six months later, the man walks into the bar, and orders a drink.
The bartender says, "Okay, here you go... Wait! Weren't you that guy who.."
"Yes, And I went and saw your brother. He is fantastic, I am completely cured."
"Well, that's great. This beer is on the house."
So the man more...

A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. He drinks the beer, then stands on the bar, drops his pants and pisses all over the place.The bar tender freaks out. "You dirty disgusting pig! How dare you come into my bar and urinate! I'll beat the shit out of you..."The man begins crying. "I'm sorry! Its ruining my life. I can't sleep. I do it every time I have a drink! It's worrying me to death, please don't hit me..."The bar tender takes pity. "Look, I have a brother who is a psychiatrist, here's his card, why don't you see him?"The man hugs the bartender, shakes his hand and leaves with a thousand thank yous...Six months later, the man walks into the bar, and orders a drink.The bartender says, "Okay, here you go... Wait! Weren't you that guy who..""Yes, And I went and saw your brother. He is fantastic, I am completely cured.""Well, that's great. This beer is on the house."So the man drinks the beer, stands on the bar, drops more...

1) Excitable - Shorts half-twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.
2) Sociable - Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.
3) Cross-eyed - Looks into the next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.
4) Timid - Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal, comes back later. 5) Indifferent - All urinals being used, pisses in sink.
6) Clever - No hands, fixes tie, looks around, usually pisses on floor.
7) Worried - Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection.
8) Frivolous - Plays stream up, down and across urinal, tries to hit flies and bugs.
9) Absent-Minded - Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.
10) Childish - Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.
11) Sneaky - Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in other stall will be blamed.
12) Patient - Stands very close for a long time, reads with free hand.
13) Desperate - Waits in long line, teeth floating, more...

I'm Cured A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. He drinks the beer, then stands on the bar, drops his pants and pisses all over the place. The bar tender freaks out. "You dirty disgusting pig! How dare you come into my bar and urinate! I'll beat the shit out of you..." The man begins crying. "I'm sorry! Its ruining my life. I can't sleep. I do it every time I have a drink! It's worrying me to death, please don't hit me..." The bar tender takes pity. "Look, I have a brother who is a psychiatrist, here's his card, why don't you see him?" The man hugs the bartender, shakes his hand and leaves with a thousand thank yous... Six months later, the man walks into the bar, and orders a drink. The bartender says, "Okay, here you go... Wait! Weren't you that guy who.." "Yes, And I went and saw your brother. He is fantastic, I am completely cured." "Well, that's great. This beer is on the house." So the man drinks the beer, stands more...