Peeked Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Mac died at the controls of a plane and went to pilot's hell, where he found a hideous devil and three doors. The devil was busy escorting other pilots to various "hell rooms." He said, "I'll be right back don't go away," and he vanished. Sneaking over to the first door, Mac peeked in and saw a cockpit where the pilot was condemned to forever run through preflight checks. He slammed the door and peeked into the second. There, alarms rang and red lights flashed while a pilot had to avoid one emergency after another. Unable to imagine a worse fate Mac cautiously opened the third door. He was amazed to see many beautiful, scantily clad flight attendants answering to a captain's every whim. He quickly returned to his place seconds before the devil reappeared.

    "Okay, Mac," said the devil, "Which door will it be, number 1 or number 2?" "Um, I want door number 3," answered Mac.

    "Sorry," said the devil. more...

    A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a doublescotch on the rocks. After he finished the drink, he peeked inside hisshirt pocket, then he ordered another double scotch. After he finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket andordered another double scotch. Finally, the bartender said, "Look, buddy, I'll bring you drinks all nightlong. But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order another." The customer replied, "I'm looking at a photo of my wife. When she startsto look good, then I know it's time to go home."

    Mac died at the controls of a plane and went to pilot's hell, where he found a hideous devil and three doors.

    The devil was busy escorting other pilots to various "hell rooms". He said, "I'll be right back don't go away," and he vanished.

    Sneaking over to the first door, Mac peeked in and saw a cockpit where the pilot was condemned to forever run through preflight checks. He slammed the door and peeked into the second. There, alarms rang and red lights flashed while a pilot had to avoid one emergency after another.

    Unable to imagine a worse fate Mac cautiously opened the third door. He was amazed to see many beautiful, scantily clad flight attendants answering to a captain's every whim.

    He quickly returned to his place seconds before the devil reappeared. "Okay, Mac," said the devil, "Which door will it be, number 1 or number 2?"

    "Um, I want door number 3," answered more...

    A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a doublescotch on the rocks. After he finished the drink, he peeked inside hisshirt pocket, then he ordered another double scotch.After he finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket andordered another double scotch.Finally, the bartender said, "Look, buddy, I'll bring you drinks all nightlong. But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order another."The customer replied, "I'm looking at a photo of my wife. When she startsto look good, then I know it's time to go home."

    A Jewish boy was sent to a Catholic school by his folks. Of course, he had no idea of who Jesus, Joseph, or Mary were, and on the first day of school, he got punished by the teacher for not knowing such basic things.
    Hearing upon his story, his mother soothed him, and said, "Don't worry, son. I'll sew the answers to those questions on your collar, and every time your teacher asks you a question, all you have to do is to peek at your collar."
    And so she sewed the answers on her son's collar.
    The following day, the teacher came up to him, and asked him, "Who is the Holy Virgin?"
    The boy peeked at his collar and replied, "Mary."
    The teacher seemed a little bit surprised, but continued on. "And who is her husband?" After another peek at the collar, he replied, "Joseph."
    "Why, very good son," the teacher commented.
    "And for the last one," said the teacher. "Who is their son?"
    The more...

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