Pearl Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mr. Greenberg, a World War II veteran, walks into a Chinese restaurant and sits down. As soon as the waiter comes up, Mr. Greenberg slaps him across the face. "What was that for?!" cries the outraged waiter. "That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies Mr. Greenberg. "But I'm Chinese. Pearl Harbor was attacked by the Japanese!"
"Chinese, Japanese-it's all the same!"
Mr. Greenberg orders his meal and is grudgingly served by the waiter. When he is through, he hands the waiter his credit card. Upon seeing that his name is "Greenberg", the waiter slaps him across the face. "What was that for?!" he shouts.
"That was for the Titanic!" "But I had nothing to do with the Titanic. It was sunk by an iceberg!"
"Greenberg, Iceberg-it's all the same!"

An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy.
They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard.
They searched for days and couldn't find her. So the captain sent the old man home with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.
Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the ship.
It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife had died in the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck, and found an oyster attached to her butt. Inside it was a pearl worth $50,000.
Please advise?"
The old man faxed back: Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap!

An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy.They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard.They searched for days and couldn't find her. So the captain sent the old man home with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the ship.It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife had died in the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck, and found an oyster attached to her butt. Inside it was a pearl worth $50,000.Please advise?"The old man faxed back: Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap!

FRIEND: You don't look so good, what's wrong?
HARRY: I got domestic trouble.
FRIEND: But Harry you always said your wife was a pearl.
HARRY: Yeah its the mother of pearl that's the problem.

Busy Angelina Jolie will apparently be playing Mariane Pearl, widow of slain reporter Daniel Pearl, in an upcoming movie. I'm guessing that if the real Mariane Pearl looked like Angelina Jolie, Daniel Pearl's last words might have been very different:

"Don't kill me and I'll let you do my wife! She's a 10! Please! You can do coke off her nipples!"

The Captain was Jewish, and the new First Officer was Chinese. It was the first time they had flown together, and it was obvious by the silence that they didnt get along. After 30 minutes, the Captain finally spoke. He said, " I dont like Chinese. "The F. O. replied, " Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why is that? " The Captain said, " You bombed Pearl Harbor. Thats why I dont like Chinese. "The F. O. said, " Nooooo, noooo. .. Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbah. That JAPANESE, not Chinese. "And the Captain answered, " Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese. .. it doesnt matter. Theyre all alike. "Another 30 minutes of silence. Finally the First Officer said, " No like Jew. "The Captain replied, " Why not? Why dont you like Jews? "" Jews sink Titanic. " Said the F. O. The Captain tried to correct him, " No, no. The Jews didnt sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg. "" Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg. . no mattah. . all more...

Rabbi is sitting on a airplane next to a Korean guy. After they have been flying together in silence for a while, the Rabbi leans over and says: You know, I've never forgiven you Chinese for what you did in Pearl Habor.
The Korean looks shocked an replies: First, it was the Japanese that bombed Pearl Harbor, not the Chinese and besides I'm Korean.
The Rabbi says: Korean, Japanese, Chinese, what's the difference.
A few hours later the Korean says to the Rabbi: You know, I've never forgiven you Jews for sinking the Titanic.
The Rabbi looks confused and mad and says: What are you talking about?
The Jews didn't have anything to do with that! An Iceberg sank the Titanic!
The Korean guy replies: Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, what's the difference ?